It occurs to me just how significant it is that we live in a culture and society where femininity is weaknesses. Femininity is emotional, but emotion is not strength. Even I grew up extremely uncomfortable with my femininity and femininity in general. I still struggle to embrace it as a strength and to be strong in my befriending of other women in life. Women and femininity make me uncomfortable. Perhaps it is how it has been portrayed by our culture. Perceived weakness is uncomfortable. This is such a serious issue and truly sad.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Hello Internet! Here is a list of important things that I have learned this quarter.
I love being a musician.
I also like solving math problems.
I treasure my walks. I treasure hiking & nature.
"Me-time" or time spent on relaxing is really important in each day.
I really like raisins. I also like celery.
I am Intolerant to onions, and garlic.
I am probably allergic to hazelnuts. I am at least Intolerant.
I love my family a lot. Family is important to me.
Friends are also really important to me.
Friday, October 21, 2016
There's a completely different vibe.
These guys seem to be much gentler; about little things. I also feel like they are much more appreciative of me as a woman than my ex-boyfriends were. Okay, so, being fair, there is an obvious bias here in that I was dating those guys and now I am not, but these with sisters have only been good friends. Still, I find a significant difference enough worth mentioning.
This is something I actually really appreciate. These two young men with sisters seem to be a lot more conscious of all that women go through emotionally, but also a lot more sensitive to their differences from men's. They feel more appreciative and respectful. It's a nice change and it occurred to me that merely having a sister or not could have quite a bit to do with that change.
I suppose one way of putting it is that these men are more in touch with their inner anima.
Monday, October 17, 2016
Sunday, October 16, 2016
When you are drinking poison and you laugh, thinking it's funny because you like the taste.
So you begin to rationalize, "Maybe it isn't poison. Maybe it isn't poison..." or "Maybe if I only take one sip. Just a few sips.. Wait a while then take another sip later; Way later, maybe then. Maybe it's been long enough. Let me take another sip."
Friday, October 7, 2016
"Bubble Christian" is a name I have given a type of Christianity where people only do christian things & only hang out with christian people. American/Western Protestantism has a lot of this which has always stuck out to me and bothered me. It felt wrong on many levels and I am now beginning to understand how to explain why.
The number one important thing that I think most Christians agree on when it comes to being a Christian is "Love your neighbor as yourself." So, the first thing I think of when I am analyzing a common Christian practice or attitude is: "Does is hinder your ability to love your neighbor?". I believe that the ability to love your neighbor comes from getting to know your neighbor and that alienating yourself from any certain type of people prevents that. Thus: my notion of "bubble Christianity"; You can not love someone, a group of people, or a type of person that you do not know. Jesus wandered and talked and met with all kinds of people; the outcasts.
Remembering to reach out to people who aren't necessarily like you and don't have the same religion or beliefs is important. On another note, it is important in humbling ourselves and not letting ourselves feel that we are better because we are Christian. Thinking that you are better because you are Christian or that all Christians are magically saved by being Christian defeats the whole purpose of being a Christian. It is so easy to go wrong here, and so dangerous and when I witness this go wrong, it makes me sick.
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Rhythm of the ticking inside your head;
Your limbs feel weak
Your extremities numb with feeling
It seems your heart draws you far and draws you near
Total death and destruction
bloody fangs venison feast
You are an animal
Daring at every turn to mount your prey and mate
It sucks the life out of you
It wipes your slate clean
It dulls the color of your innards
Your bones turn black.
Your urge burns like a fire
It settles like coal on your tongue
because you want to find love.
You pump toxin into your veins.
The syringe is a memory.