Monday, June 27, 2016

Women Body Image-society Rant

God made my legs to grow hair on them.  I  think my legs are beautiful.  I am sorry if it offends you,  but your issues are not my problem.  If I shave my legs it is because I want to treat myself to soft smooth legs; Not because I need to please you; Not because I need to please myself.  Shaving my legs is something that is only worth my time when there is a practical cause (hot weather crosses my mind) or when I  just want to for myself.  Whether my legs are natural or not is not your business nor the business of society or our culture; Nor should it be. My legs are my own business.  And yes,  they are beautiful,  no matter what state they are in.  Thank you.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Certain things I can't post on Facebook

There are certain things, bitter complaints perhaps, that I can't post on facebook. But I want the world to hear me screaming and shouting. So, I guess that's why I have my blog...

I hate so much that my ex boyfriend is so attractive. He is such a beautiful person who did me wrong. He cut the shit out of my heart and my soul and didn't think it was a big deal at all. Despite the fact that I have moved on, gotten over him, don't care, am better off without him, don't want to hear about him, he is still incredibly handsome. He has a charming personality and because of his ignorance about dating and feelings, treats me like shit. It makes me want to throw up.

Moving on is harder than you think (I write to myself). Even after you think it all out and convince yourself you've done all you can. Even when you've thought it all out, and you know all you could know about the situation, you are still broken inside and fixing a wounded heart takes more than glue and understanding. The only thing that will help is time.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

It's okay to not be okay

It is okay to not be okay.  Be patient with yourself.
I am not okay. I am very impatient with myself.  I feel like I should be completely okay.  I feel like I have no right or reason to not be okay.  I am mean to myself.  I am hurting.  I am lonely. I am not okay.  I am not.  I am not okay and I don't want to admit it or say it or let anyone else hear it because it is not okay to not be okay.  You have to be okay for people to like you.  You have to be okay in order to grow. You have to be okay in order to build healthy relationships.  You have to be okay in order to be happy.  You have to be okay in order to like yourself. You have to be okay. Tell me I am wrong because it hurts too much to have to push all the time. And yet,  I will keep pushing.  I was cast out into the dust by someone for making excuses. I was cast out by someone for not being who I want to be.  I was cast out by someone for not being okay.  In the end,  he was the one who was not okay,  but my heart was torn into pieces.  To this day,  how will I learn that it is okay?  How can I feel that I am okay when I am hurting? How can I feel that I am okay when I make mistakes; that I am okay when I am having panic attacks or anxiety or when I text you a lot throughout the day about anything and everything because I want to because I care? How can I learn that I  am okay and that I am loved when my love was ripped away from me for being those things?  How can I be okay with not being okay? It is a backwards and broken ideology but he was the stronger one,  the better one.  How can I learn to listen to myself first and how can I learn to not pick an asshole to give all my love and affection to?  How will I know how to be okay?  How will I  know how to be safe next time? These are the real questions. Help me, Lord.

Friday, June 3, 2016

The key is to master being single so that you don't feel lonely anymore.