Sunday, May 29, 2016
Friday, May 27, 2016
Nature, Energies, Art, SpiritualityI hiked up into the neighboring arboretum today to rest.
I was having a bad day and I needed to get away. It helped.
As I sat there, pondering peace and God and rest, a thought crossed my mind. And things made a lot of sense for a moment.
The energies of the forest and the birds and the insects are very different from that of other humans and even animals. Especially domestic animals. This was a hard thing for me to grasp in some ways for a while. I sometimes think about spirits and energies and where they all sit and how they all interact in this world we live in. So, in this moment, here is what I discovered... The trees and the nature all have a very similar energy. A very calming, living energy. Almost the same energy I would say. A kind of energy that is very connected to the Earth and all of its functions and the ways of life. It is a kind of energy that doesn't get bogged down or distracted or destroyed or even altered by anything else. It always exists in strong, simple ways. It doesn't have a personality. It is very united. And I am talking about trees and plants mostly. The scent is very refreshing and the atmosphere is very calming.
I may have mentioned this before; how I believe that all of these living things we have here on Earth are made out of the loving energy God has given to them. There is this idea that some people perhaps think of or misunderstand, and that is the idea that all life is "equal". In many ways, yes.. All life is equal in that all life deserves extreme love and respect and gentlness, but all life is not equal. It is clear in the way we think, and act and create and it is clear (to an empath like me) in how the energies (or vibes; I guess you could call them) feel and express themselves. There is a reason that trees are calming. It's not that they have their own individual personalities really, although we as humans certainly could attribute some to them (but that would come from us and our use of them in our expression and relation and art). No, trees in their purest form are very much mere images and art created directly from God. And this is ongoing. The life here on Earth, the evolution, the cycles and the connection; it is all an ongoing painting that God is creating right now. This painting expresses something deeply profound; love.
I believe we humans are very different in that all these other living things (paintings of expression) were created (are created) by God as gifts for us. Gifts that we should treasure. Things that we should hold dear, and precious and use as tools for growth (as many of us do). Note that this plays into the spiritual idea of gratitude.
So it became very clear to me at that moment, as I sat in the woods, this idea that all this nature is a gift from God. As an ongoing expression that he his always reaching out to us. This gift of nature is given to us as a tool. In that moment, it was given to me as a gift to find calm and reassurance; inner peace and regeneration in order to be at peace in my mind and take on the rest of my day.
Energies in other animals: domestic animals
Thursday, May 26, 2016
There are times when you realize, no matter how you try, deep down, you are not okay. Whatever it is, it is not okay. It is painful. It is fear. It is grief, loneliness, sorrow. You are not okay.
But life goes on... Really, it does. This is just the beginning of a much greater story. With every passing day, all the trees keep growing and the flowers keep glowing. The people and their smiling and their talking carry on. It can bring you anger, jealousy, or it can bring you inspiration.
No matter what the cause, nor to what extent, your not being okay will pass. Your body mends itself, and you should follow its lead. Do not be afraid of letting go of your troubles and your hurt. The time will come that you see it is your destiny to renew and grow again.
Your mind and heart take so much time, much more time to heal than any broken bones or cuts or scars. It is the way of human life. And it hurts even more when it seems no one in the world can see the wounds that you feel each day on the inside. It will take time, but you can help yourself heal. Be gentle with your mind and heart as you wish others were to you. Your doubt and fear can be like fuel to the fire, or you can trust and believe in yourself and your fate. The choice is yours. But in the end, you will be okay. In the now, you are okay. No matter how broken or hurt, you are mending. You are okay. ❤
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Things to know about bras:
Your bra should not be uncomfortable. If it ever is, there is a good chance it isn't your size or shape.There are many things that go into what can make a bra fit or not fit correctly. I won't go into all of them here, but other than the obvious bra size, breast shape also can play a big role in whether a bra fits comfortably like it should, and knowing your shape of breasts can be very helpful in picking out and finding a bra that fits you best. Obviously, there are resources on the internet, so I will let you research this one on your own if you are interested.
After you know your band size, finding the correct cup size is relatively easy. It should fit. No extra space here or there and nothing falling out the sides or front. Now, here is something I know a lot of women run into when they aren't big on bra shopping. "But isn't that too big for me?" People are afraid of the numbers. For some reason, D is glorified as being for big-breasted women and A is labeled as being for small-breasted women. But that's not the case. A bra cup is relative to the band size which is why you never want to start with the cup size. A 34D bra will have a larger cup than a 32 D bra and a 38 D bra will have an even larger cup than that. And contrary to popular belief, DD is nowhere near the largest cup size. There is also E, F, FF, G, GG, H, HH, J, JJ all the way up to N (in Europe it just goes from A to Z without the doubles)
Sister Sizes. There is a thing called "Sister sizes" and what that means is that someone who, when wearing the correct band size is a 30 DD, can also "fit" into a 32 D, 34 C... etc. because the cup sizes increase with the band size. In order to keep the same size, you have to decrease the cup size with every increase in band size. Now, I am not a fan of "Sister sizes" because I really think that everyone deserves to be able to find an affordable bra in their correct band size. But often, we are stuck with buying and wearing sister sizes because what they carry in stores is more often than not what your correct size is. Especially, for some reason as many of us find, the extremely cute bras (which are always 34 B, C & D)
The issue:The majority of bras found in stores are 32 A, 32 B, 34 B, 34 C, 34 D, 36 D, 36 DD.. and stores are providing sizes assuming that as our breast size increases, so does our band size (or that if we have larger breasts, we will also have larger band sizes or larger rib-cage circumferences) This is garbage, and so if you want to buy a bra from any mainstream easy-to-find clothing store, you are more often than not going to be forced to buy a sister size or instead go to a specialty bra store like Soma, Nordstrom, or Victoria Secret which have much higher prices and even then, if you are really skinny or you have really large breasts, you may be out of luck because very few places seldom sell anything in a 28 band size, or in a cup size greater than DD, and remember, when your band size gets smaller, your cup size gets larger because the cup sizes are relative to the band size.
So many women live their lives wearing poorly fitting bras. Not only are they uncomfortable, un-supportive but they can often be very unflattering as well. Some people don't know how bra sizes really work, others claim they don't care and others even still start protests against the need for women to even wear bras (in the name of feminism of course). Genuinely, this frustration is completely understandable because of how ridiculous it is to have to go through the simple process of buying a bra when you get stuck with having to wear something uncomfortable and unflattering or leave with a single bra and an empty wallet.
How much better would it be if things changed for us women and the bras you find in stores. What if all it took was a little more education and a little less settling for less than we deserve. Who really knows. What I do know is that it doesn't hurt to try, and it certainly doesn't hurt to take a stand and start the conversation and education. Bras are a part of being a women, and they can be stressful, or they can be a lot of fun. I hope that if you are a women, you go away from this post feeling a little more inspired to take action and find something that works best for you. You deserve it!
Thursday, May 19, 2016
It wasn't until I moved away from home to college, met a boy, fell in love and got my heart broken that I realized just how much music was calling to me. I started spending all of my free time sitting by the music department building to rest, to eat and even to listen to our choral music that we were learning to preform. It was all healing and often the only thing I could turn to which always made me happy.
Saturday, May 14, 2016
There are lots of different levels to dates. So, I figure I will list them from uber-casual, to casual, to nice to very nice. And these are all things that I personally think I would enjoy. Things are different for everyone, and I think if/when someday I do find a partner again, that this list might expand, but it is important that I say it should not diminish. Here goes:
- Going to a new place (or a favorite place): coffee shop or park (for a picnic or a walk)
- Going on a walk somewhere
- Doing stuff together at home (gaming, cooking, board games, card games, good conversation)
- Going to a casual event of some kind: improv, comedy, bar.... (when I am 21)
- Going out to a nice place for lunch or brunch/breakfast
- Going on a hike
- Visiting a state park
- Going to visit art galleries
- Going over to partner's house for dinner
- Going out to a concert: a rock concert or a concert for a favorite artist/musician
- Going out to a sit-down place for dinner
- Going out to a nice event of some kind (varies depending on opportunities which arise)
- Go visit an art museum
- Going out to the ballet
- Going to see the orchestra
- Going out to see an opera
- Going out for fancy dinner
Monday, May 9, 2016
If you read my blog, you probably know I have had a lot of that in the last couple of years. Things have just been kind-of crazy. So, one of my friends handed me this book and said, "Read it."
It was clear that I was going to read it (or else) so I did. And it was one of the best books I have read in a long time. It touched me so much, and inspired/helped me so much--to feel validated and united with other people who go through or have gone through such similar experiences-- that I want to share with you a number of poems that particularly stuck out to me from this book. I am going to quote them in an order which has personal, significant (chronological) relevance to me.
i do not want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined could set it on fire
love will come
and when love comes
love will hold you
love will call your name
and you will melt
love will hurt you but
love will never mean to
love will play no games
cause love knows life
has been hard enough already
he placed his hands
on my mind
for my waist
or my lips
he didn't call me
he called me
-how he touches me
what am i to you he asks
i put my hands in his lap
and whisper you
are every hope
i've ever had
in human form
i want your hands
not my hands
not my lips
but other places
your name is
positive and negative
connotation in any language
it either lights me up or
leaves me aching for days
Well here are some, not even the best or the most impactful. I chose so many, I couldn't narrow it down enough, but with 50 bookmarks or so in this book, and not all the time in the world, I just gave the book back to my friend before I just kept it forever. Alas, these are only a tiny few of the amazing, thoughtful experiences of poetry that were found in this book. 5 stars: would recommend!
Took a breath. Stopped to listen.
What is the point, of all the fear?
Why does it matter, what other people think, how other people care?
The truth is, it doesn't. But maybe I am the only one who sees that.
There are so many worse things in the world than being honest with yourself.
And I am. I will be. Honest. It is who I am. How I survive.
Do not worry or despair.
Be grounded. You got this.
Whatever it is, no matter what the trial, you got this.
Hush now, my dear. It's time you rest your head.
Rest your mind. Rest your soul, it's time you go to bed.
The sun has gone to sleep. The earth is sleeping.
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Let your soul be at peace.
Pray the Lord watch and keep you.
Rest rest rest.
Monday, May 2, 2016
It is disappointing when I go through life or on the Internet and come across two things:
People trying to normalize things like abortion
And people who complain about their periods persistently. Now, the first one seems pretty obvious. I mean, yeah, alright. Abortion is very controversial for this moral reason; enough said.
If only more people understood the benefit of being humbled.
But I care. I care because it stands out to me. I want to urge people to be more mindful and learn gratitude. Gratitude is one of most healing things a person can learn and experience. Truly.