Monday, July 28, 2014

Woes, thoughts, and Christianity

It is so hard to be a happy Christian.  I spend too much time being afraid of offending or disappointing other Christians. It is so hard to  keep a connection with God when expressing your religion puts others around you who aren't Christian in discomfort, because they are used to Christians judging them and making them feel bad. Christians are used to Christians judging them and making them feel bad. This is a fallen world but I am just so sick of other Christian's petty opinions trying to pulling us away from our own faith. Why can't I be a Christian? I want to be a Christian.  I can't say that anymore without feeling like I am saying I want to be a nazi. The world is falling apart.  I haven't been to church in 2-3 weeks and I could have. It seems like other people around me don't want to make an effort to go anymore. Some churches are so peaceful in a way you can't find anywhere else. And sometimes the people ruin it. By.. preaching the wrong thing or spending time gossiping and judging. It's everyone's favorite thing to talk about sins and what is worse than what. And it's the worst thing to talk about. The most devil-feasting. :/ especially in a cult, where people listen to anything you say. Like mindless beasts. If you have any power, every one else is weak and stupid. I guess that is something that makes God so amazing. He has so much power, but he doesn't force anyone to be mindless.

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Broken System We Live In

Here's how it goes...
You have to forget about being a teenager or a young person if you want to get a good enough transcript.
You have to forget about having any time to yourself ever again, forget about socializing, hobbies, anything, because you have to study really really hard for a test which tells you whether you are good enough for people who don't even care about you. It costs money to take this test. And they ask you to take it multiple times, even if you don't need to.
Oh! But you WILL need to because you see, the test asks you questions that only the people who wrote the test could answer and makes you do it in a short given amount of time.
See, then you have to send it out to colleges where they will be judging you based on a few numbers and how well you can convince them they want your money. Oh but they already want your money! They just want to be looked-at more positively by other people in the country so that in the end they get even MORE money.
Chances are, you probably won't get in to any of these places, Oh but if you do! Congratulations! You will be suffering hard times for years and years to pay for it!
If you don't get in, you will probably suffer even harder times for even longer because you will never be able to get a good job, and so you will be struggling to pay rent and buy food, and find small jobs here and there where they don't expect much from you. Lucky that we still have jobs that don't give a damn about what they do for the world or how they treat their employees, isn't it!

So, if you're really really lucky, and you support countless immoral corporations, and you spend lots of money to make them happy enough, and you throw away your entire childhood, and your entire teenage-hood and basically all fun or time to relax or time to yourself, you might be able to get into a college where you might be able to get a degree which afterwards you might be able to use to get a job you can live off of. But first you have to throw away the last scraps of kid-hood you might have in you.