Saturday, November 8, 2014

Too Much Technology?

So, I read this article, out of curiosity.

Let me just say, this is WAAAAY overblown. There are many factors that cause or relate to the negative aspects of our emerging society. Let me tell you; gaming, television, and electronics should not be to blame. Upbringing is the number one. Adults can't blame little things like technology for all of these problems. You can't. The truth is, if you think your kid is having issues, it is probably your fault. Not technology's. I was raised on technology since I was little. I love people, I respect myself, I know that I need my sleep, and I love doing things other than gaming or using technology.
Why are some people like me fine with technology? Because we recognize that it CAN be addictive, and it doesn't have to be.
Fight it, you guys. If you're over the age of 10, learn to monitor yourself.
Parents, teach your kids to monitor themselves. If someone isn't getting enough sleep, eating healthy enough, or taking enough breaks. Then sleep, take breaks, and eat healthy. Technology is not to blame for laziness.

Gaming/Technology should be limited (not banned) by parents up to a certain age, and then person themselves for generally only these reasons:

  • not getting enough exercise
  • not getting enough sleep
  • not eating well enough
  • not doing anything else
  • not getting enough real social interaction

And In terms of gaming, playing real games are good for your brain with problem solving, strategy etc. Playing mindless games on your phone or tablet are usually not good for your mind, and should be monitored way more.
Violent games should only be monitored and limited if the person or people playing them start showing signs of aggression coming out  in the real world. This can happen to some people but NOT ALL.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Video Games? Gamer? Games, Gaming.

            Have you ever gone venturing along a cliff-side overlooking a sea? Discovered a lost lighthouse? Or solved a mystery? We've seen other people do it; on TV. When you read a great book, it takes time, and focus. Sometimes the book we start is hard to finish. What if the book was full of pictures, and the words always reached out to touch us? We all love watching TV or movies; and me, I love gaming too. I have ventured along cliff-sides, slain bandits, and dragons, collected gold, and found jewels. I have even built castles, and rivers and trains. Have you defeat empires? I have. Ever had a dream that felt like real life? You feel connected to an alternate dimension, a place of your mind. Your mind makes up stories, places, people, things. Dreaming is like gaming, writing or reading. You let the plot take you to another place, and you move around and live a separate life. You can be a hero. You can be an artist, a mother, a doctor, a farmer, a warrior.

            Gaming gets your mind moving. You think of new strategies, you think of new plays. Like football or chess, you teach yourself from experience. You learn how to problem-solve. You learn how to make decisions. But at the same time, you escape. We all need to get away sometimes. Life wears on us. It drains us. Our friend discusses drama, our mom won't leave us alone. Our father doesn't know us like he once did. Sometimes, we need to fall into our minds, to play out the roles. Perhaps it makes life easier when we're done. Even violence, aggression, conflict, are purged. Often confidence is restored because you're you, and you just beat a boss; you killed a zombie; you defeated an adversary. Maybe you're free now. Or maybe you're organizing, you want control over something in your life, so capture a pokemon. Train it up. Build a farm, make money, become rich. Anyone can find happiness in video games. No matter what you like, you can find it in a video game, and perfect it. You can show it off to strangers or friends. You can make memories with friends, playing together. Memories that truly last a lifetime. It doesn't matter who you are. If you're someone who likes creating, or acting, or thinking; try it out! Maybe you're someone who thinks that you can't, or that you have to be a certain way to try it out. Don't think that; because you're wrong. Do it for yourself. Try something new and different. You can try out a game no one has heard about, and it can help you build life skills or focus your brain. It will get you connected with technology; something that is becoming more and more vital to our society every day. I grew up with computers and games, starting with Reader Rabbit and Sim City, Age of Empires, Halo, and now Skyrim, and Pokemon. I have found it easier to put things together in my mind, make connections, and even learn new tasks in the real world.

            I used to feel like I was weird, different; like I didn't fit in. The people I was 'supposed' to be friends with didn't like me. None of them shared the same kind of passions, interests or thoughts as I did. Then one day I went to a different corner of the cafeteria. I heard some guys talk about a video game that I also played. Something got into me, and I butted in. I introduced myself and said "Hi". That simple action was and still is one of the best decisions of my life. Making friends was easy when I wasn't afraid to show people what I enjoyed doing. In this way, being a gamer has changed my life. I feel connected to people who love what I love. We make memories, and play a variety of games together. All my friends are expressive, and all my friends are true friends. They are happy with who they are and they feel like they can be themselves around me, who took the initiative and said Hi first. It doesn't matter if you're a girl or not. "Dicks will be dicks." And don't let that stop you from being who you are, even if you aren't a 'gamer'. I don't see why more people don't play video games. Albeit, some people just don't find it interesting. But even without being a 'gamer', gaming can help you be unafraid to interact with other people. It can even help you build bridges, and make new friends. Gaming has not only given me true friends, but it has built an intellectual creativity in my mind. It gives me an outlet to create, a place to make memories, no matter how far away you are, or even how busy. It doesn't have to take all day, nor does it have to be routine. Gaming gives me a way to define myself. In a way, it is the glue of the ether in my universe. Binding all my thoughts and feelings, and moral opinions through creativity, imagination, and connection. 

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Life is a Video game

Life up to this point was just the Tutorial. We were shown how to do things, and where to find that option in a menu, what button was which. But now, once we graduate from high school, it's not game over, It's a re-play, or rather, a new-play. The time comes where we have to quit the tutorial and try everything ourselves, for ourselves, by ourselves. We finally click the "New Game" button. It's a scary sense of excitement, but then we're in the real world. We have nothing, --or close to nothing-- and we have to build up from the small items we have in order to have what we want or to reach our goal. We have to go on quests in order to get money in order to buy items. We have to work; farm, fight, study, learn... in order to get anything. And so the adventure begins. Life, is a video game, my friends. And once you graduate, you have just begun the true adventure.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Transition to growing up

I have these goals, right; to just create, in any and every way I can, but in growing up, I am so afraid of losing what I already have. My cat, my boyfriend, my high school friends.  I love all these so much. They define my life, my brain. People always say "You find your real love in college.  You find yourself. You find your happiness and the real good memories", but I feel like I have already found that. Sure there is more great joy to come but I don't want to lose what I have. I don't want life to be replaced by some fake.. identity. My cat is my angel, My boyfriend is my love. The things I surround myself with define me and I'm sure similar things will always be there. I just don't get how things could get so much better, or more perfect. What makes you think I haven't already found the love of my life? Because you were still finding yourself when you were my age? Sure, there is more to find. I am excited to learn more about myself and what I love and what is important to me. It's just that, the connections I have define who I am. If I lose them, will I lose myself?

Monday, July 28, 2014

Woes, thoughts, and Christianity

It is so hard to be a happy Christian.  I spend too much time being afraid of offending or disappointing other Christians. It is so hard to  keep a connection with God when expressing your religion puts others around you who aren't Christian in discomfort, because they are used to Christians judging them and making them feel bad. Christians are used to Christians judging them and making them feel bad. This is a fallen world but I am just so sick of other Christian's petty opinions trying to pulling us away from our own faith. Why can't I be a Christian? I want to be a Christian.  I can't say that anymore without feeling like I am saying I want to be a nazi. The world is falling apart.  I haven't been to church in 2-3 weeks and I could have. It seems like other people around me don't want to make an effort to go anymore. Some churches are so peaceful in a way you can't find anywhere else. And sometimes the people ruin it. By.. preaching the wrong thing or spending time gossiping and judging. It's everyone's favorite thing to talk about sins and what is worse than what. And it's the worst thing to talk about. The most devil-feasting. :/ especially in a cult, where people listen to anything you say. Like mindless beasts. If you have any power, every one else is weak and stupid. I guess that is something that makes God so amazing. He has so much power, but he doesn't force anyone to be mindless.

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Broken System We Live In

Here's how it goes...
You have to forget about being a teenager or a young person if you want to get a good enough transcript.
You have to forget about having any time to yourself ever again, forget about socializing, hobbies, anything, because you have to study really really hard for a test which tells you whether you are good enough for people who don't even care about you. It costs money to take this test. And they ask you to take it multiple times, even if you don't need to.
Oh! But you WILL need to because you see, the test asks you questions that only the people who wrote the test could answer and makes you do it in a short given amount of time.
See, then you have to send it out to colleges where they will be judging you based on a few numbers and how well you can convince them they want your money. Oh but they already want your money! They just want to be looked-at more positively by other people in the country so that in the end they get even MORE money.
Chances are, you probably won't get in to any of these places, Oh but if you do! Congratulations! You will be suffering hard times for years and years to pay for it!
If you don't get in, you will probably suffer even harder times for even longer because you will never be able to get a good job, and so you will be struggling to pay rent and buy food, and find small jobs here and there where they don't expect much from you. Lucky that we still have jobs that don't give a damn about what they do for the world or how they treat their employees, isn't it!

So, if you're really really lucky, and you support countless immoral corporations, and you spend lots of money to make them happy enough, and you throw away your entire childhood, and your entire teenage-hood and basically all fun or time to relax or time to yourself, you might be able to get into a college where you might be able to get a degree which afterwards you might be able to use to get a job you can live off of. But first you have to throw away the last scraps of kid-hood you might have in you.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

My complaints and regrets about my upbringing upon reflection

Life, and The Importance of Being A Mean Parent Sometimes

When you've raised someone to be lazy and dependent, you can't expect them to suddenly do everything for themselves. It's hard. I'm trying. 
I remember being brought toothbrushes and toothpaste with a washcloth to bed because I was too tired or too comfortable to get up and go brush my teeth. There was a time I had 10 cavities at once. I wonder why. 
I slept in the same bed as my parents until I was 10, and then my mom slept with me in my bed until I was too big and I kicked her out.
My dad was the only one who could or did ever effectively discipline me, but even that was rare because he didn't like to discipline. He often yelled though, which when I was crying, made me cry more.
My mom's disability and my dad's poor example made it hard if not impossible to learn how to respect my mom. 
Once, only maybe 4 years ago, I left a birthday party early--of a friend who lived far away, and I hardly ever got to see anymore-- in order to get home in time to harvest crops on Farmville before they wilted. And that was okay. But it wasn't. It shouldn't have been. 
At times, I feel like my parents never disciplined me, never made me suffer or deal with not getting my way in order to instill good habits and morals into me. I feel like my parents, especially my mom, never prepared me for the world. My mom really couldn't. With her mental disability, she has an ongoing struggle to be able to mentally support herself in life, let alone raise a child. In a way, through the years since she gave birth to me, she has grown and become so much stronger and more self-sufficient because of me,  as welk as my father. 

But, I grew up disliking adults. I'm prideful. I've learned that adults are often never fair. Nor should they always be. I am weak and pathetic, crying and complaining more than I need because I feel sorry for myself when things go wrong, instead of toughing it out. Weak and pathetic because I got used to being catered to. Sometimes by my mom, and even my dad. He was partial to electronics, and gaming, and entertainment, believing that I should have good computers and good time on them. Gaming was inspiring. My mom didn't like making me do anything I didn't want to. I'm not sure why. It was her mentality, and often things slipped through. Now I'm a Junior in High School; soon to be a Senior. Suddenly, I am expected to know stuff, to do everything for myself, take care of myself. It's reasonable. I am going to be completely on my own in one year. One. I feel, suddenly, like my childhood was a waste in that aspect. Never suffering consequences, or having any chores. Not doing dishes, my own laundry, or vacuuming my own room. I can't cook. My mom used to nag and nag about making me do some kind of chores, but never followed through. She could never bring herself to be strong about anything. I wish she had. Now, I know it is true. Parents do know better. I was lazy. Raised a princess, and I'm sorry.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love my parents. My mother is kind and compassionate, and my dad is smart and creative. They are both inspiring, and loving people. I am blessed. I often reflect on my childhood with longing. Things seemed like a wonderful fairytale. I am thankful for all that they have done for me and showed me. They have molded a happy path and inspiration in my life to be artistic, loving, and creative. My dad introduced me to many fun and great things. M Night Shyamalan movies, Jurasic Park, the Alien movies. Star Wars. Etc.. Etc.. He is also a great bookworm which has also been very inspiring to me. They are talk-to-able about anything, as I think all parents should be, and they support me through thick and thin. There are many things I am thankful for in my parents.
What happened for me was basically this... My parents don't want to do everything for me anymore. They are tired and lazy too, so often things just don't get done if I don't help out. And I'm a perfectionist neat-nick. I like everything clean and put away, so I am learning to do things myself. In the end things work out. There is nothing horribly wrong here. I just live a life stumbling upon regrets or what could have been better. Been making mental lists about the kind of parent I want to be since I was 8 years old. Been making mental lists about things I want to do better my whole life. It's the kind of person I am. I'm conscientious, so it works.
Someday when I'm a mom, I will look ahead and talk to my kids about how they only have _ more years until they're an adult, until the whole world is looking at them to do everything themselves. I didn't get that preparation. My parents were friends. 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

I'm so sad

I'm so sad.
You're not who I want you to be,
you don't see the world, admire shapes,
look at the colors, and nature's brilliance.
What is life to you?
Gaming, obligations, sex.

No matter how I give myself to you,
you never seem to see,
what is important to me.
See how God made us! See the beauty!

You make me feel worthless.
No matter what you say.
"I love you. I don't like to see you cry."
But I can't work. I can't think.
Because things are so wrong between us.

What is important to me?
Love, respect, admiration of our God.
The orthodox church, orthodox traditions,
family, organization, peace, the lack of fear,
faith, hope, and communication.

~Rosem~ 4/26/14


Home is where the heart is,
Home is in myself,
Where God is with me,
Home is peaceful.
Home is where I'm happy,
Where things are under control,
Home is where my cats meow,
Where I drink tea, and think,
Home is where I rest,
I sleep and read and eat,
Home is where I study,
Where I talk and sort things out,
Home is where I play,
I game, and I teach, and I talk,
Home is where I create.
Where I paint, where I knit,
Home is where I pray,
Where I hope and believe and thank,
Because without faith live is meaningless to me.
Home is where I want to live,
With a husband, and some kids.
They must know and love God, the way that I do.
If not, be at peace, and show others love too.
My husband I want to see me.
To be thankful for all that I am.
Home is where I make love for the first time,
And where I make love for the last.
My husband is to whom I make love to with,
In him, I make love with God, to God, because of God.
Home is where I am at peace.
Where I know I met the right one.
Where I know I made at least one right choice.
The biggest choice.
One of love.


Relationships and Life

I used to think you were romantic,
sensual, artistic and sweet.
I found all my peace in your arms,
or so I thought was a sanctuary.

But you can't tell me what you're thinking,
perhaps you just don't know.
Why is it, my body is bleeding,
when I thought that you called me home.

Who once was a safe secure escape,
now makes my heart feel raced.
horny, clingy and needy.
Don't tell me, honey, that you're ready.

One feels many things, but one's heart feels more.
My voice cries out in song, wishing. praying.
Pleading to God, pleading that you see my weakness.
See through to my heart. It's weeping alone.

I'm still afraid to be alone,
peace is the absence of fear.
I am not at peace, and so I look to you.
What can we do? I truly love you.

You're voice is so assuring,
my temper is yearning,
I want something more from you.
And I don't know what to do.

You say I am prideful, and have no respect,
then why is it honey, that I care about you.
Why am I still here? If you are no good for me.
Am I lustful? Am I selfish? Do I only like your body?

Still I wish you liked mine. I wish you admired me all the time.
Kept your hands to yourself, and let your mind be all mine.
Make love to your mind. Make love to mine.
Love in the mind goes beyond love in the time.

The sound escapes my lungs,
the sky and clouds above,
and tears rain like waterfalls,
because my heart is not at home.

~Rosemary~ 4/26/14

Monday, March 17, 2014

My opinion: what is 'living together'?

Living together is..

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Grip of Love

Grip of love

When I hold your hand
I hear the world revolving
The beat of your gentle heart
All the pain in the world disappears around me
Now, but a plume of morning mist
With the softest touch
You hold my hand firm
A bond of trust and devotion
A promise of loyalty and care
The wind may run right through us
But naught is cold when you're there


This Poem is Dedicated to my beloved boyfriend, Zachariah <3