This summer I went to Oregon, and I met a really sweet guy. He's nerdy, friendly and we have a lot in common. To my great delight, he gave me his number and it wasn't long later when we started texting each other. Okay, another thing you need to know. He's 19. I'm 15. I don't give a flying fuck. Neither does he. Yeah, I like him. I will say it's true, I don't really know him that well. But I want to. And I'd date him. And that should be fine. Dating isn't the same as sleeping together. And I am not the kind of person who would ever do that with anyone anyway unless I was married. It's not only part of my religion, but it's what I personally believe. Anyway, we only texted maybe twice, before he stopped replying. It honestly scared me a little because the last time someone stopped texting me it was because they didn't want me, because they rejected me. But I just told myself, "It's okay. He works. He's got a life, and I shouldn't expect anything from him." So, I decided not to. Only...The weeks have gone by and he still hasn't replied. It's driven me crazy. As impatient as I am, I wanted to befriend him on steam, get his facebook, get his skype, have afternoons where we game together or just chat. As much as I wanted it, I knew we couldn't have a relationship at the time anyway. He lived hundreds of miles away in a place I only ever visit once in the summer time and when I do, I stay with my grandparents who don't happen to be very supportive of dating and are kinda 'snooty' or, get their nose into other people's business. It wouldn't be hard for them to find out who the guy was and how old he was. Once they knew his age, that would be it. Damn, I don't even want to think about it. Anyway, I am thankful that at least my parent's are sensitive and fairly supportive about me dating. Even my dad, which happens to be a miracle. The fact that he was so much older did make him nervous though. We just avoid talking about it. So, the thought of this guy has lingered in my mind ever since Oregon and the point of not knowing what to make of it was probably one of the hardest things. In reality, it's simple. I want to hang out with him. Online or wherever I can. That should be fine. Then today, my mom told me that his mom said to her one day when we were in Oregon, "Did you know that your daughter and my 19-year-old-son are texting?" Then she brought up some petty concern like, "He's kinda behind and slow. He doesn't even have his drivers license yet." To me, that's fine, right. I don't have my license yet either, although I'm only 15 and that's expected, but what does that have to do with him talking to someone like me? All this tells that his mom has a lack of faith in him. That she doesn't trust him with things because he hasn't met her expectations and like there is something mentally wrong with a guy who hits on a girl who is 4 years younger than him. WHAT the F*CK, Lady!! What the hell?!? I only know part of it, right, so my opinion of this could be totally irrelevant. This is all I really know about his relationship with him mom, but now all I can think, is maybe he was meeting his mother's wish by not replying to me. I can't feel mad at her because that's like being mad at him, and I can't do that. It makes me mad at myself. But that whole thing is ridiculous. The idea still hurts. Maybe now this is enough knowledge to know that he's not the one. That we'll never date. Even if we both want to, and it may all be because of our silly society and parents.
This is what happened:
PS: Thank you again for reading my blog! Knowing that people voluntarily listen to my thoughts as I express them means a lot to me.