Tuesday, September 25, 2012

To Be a Hummingbird

If only I could be a hummingbird,
I'd join my friends to sing and dance,
to zip and chirp through the breeze.
I'd land on a branch or a twig to catch my breath,
yet swoop away at a moments glance,
chancing my friends around the branch,
bringing smiles to children's faces,
making young'ons laugh.
If only I could be a hummingbird,
I'd sing through the sun and rain,
admiring the snow as it falls,
and sing and spin through it again,
I'd be Rebounding off the leaf,
Race through holes the eye's can't see,
they can't catch me, I'll always be free.
~To Be a Hummingbird~Rosemary Sprig

I apologize. My on-hand(or mind) vocabulary isn't very high. :P Have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

One of my problems

I am sure you are aware that like any other human being, I have many problems. This post, however is only expressing one problem that I face.

My Problem is this...
This is a list of everything I want to do with my life:
-Play Piano
-Record me singing/playing piano
-Be able to edit those videos
-Write music/create music
-Design Games
-Program Games
-Create websites

I know right now that It is not physically possible to do all of these things AND have a separate job. This means I am going to have to have a job that involves some of these things. As you can see, I have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. I am so close, but so far away from knowing. Anyone with suggestions for jobs, please comment.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Gay Rights

I know I have brought this up before, but this time, I have done some research.
Okay, so I looked up a bunch about gay rights, and the whole debate on that.

 That website states clearly the differences between Marriage and Civil Unions.
Gay couples are COMPLETELY DENIED THEIR RIGHTS. I don't care what your religious beliefs are. Marriage has become something people don't always do in the church. It is completely separate. It has become an official record of rights given to two people who love each other.

On this site here: http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/wedding/f/MarriageBenefit.htm It lists 25 rights that gay couples don't have if they aren't legally married. There is no excuse except judgment and the lack of acceptance of others for not allowing gay-marriage. It is truly unconstitutional. There is always room for change.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

This is what I hate about some parents

This is what I hate about some parents:

Before I start I would like to say that this is quite stereotypical and this may completely not apply to your or anyone's parents. This is also quite general.

Some parent's forget they have kids. Okay, so they don't, but they are so busy and so wrapped up in their own life that they don't spend time with them. Spend time with your kids. Teach them. Play with them. If they feel loved and included at an early age, they will have a better and more successful life growing up. I say this because I know some parents that send their children out of the room. Some say, "Go play!" They want their 'adult time'. Kids feel that. I know. I'm a kid. I've been a child. All I wanted was to be included in the older-people ways. I was always attracted to older kids, and older people were more interesting to me, but most of the time, they continued to treat me like I was a stupid, naive kid. That hurt. God bless my parent's who never once did this to me. I love them dearly.

When parent's say things like, "You're only 10 years old. You can't fall in love." Screw you. Anyone can feel love at any time in their lives. It doesn't mean it's so sexual as you think. People can have crushes their whole lives and can fall in love as early as 10, maybe earlier. Age really doesn't matter. Maturity and age have close to nothing in common. So don't say that. Have empathy. Please.

When parent's don't have faith in their teenagers/young adults. You talk to your kids! You teach them not to lie! Teach them that they can talk to you whenever they want about whatever they want and you won't judge them. You have to play your part. You can't get mad at them for having opinions.
That's something that builds rebels. If they trusted you with something that means a lot to them, don't tell them they are wrong. Don't punish them. Have some respect!! Especially if you want respect in return. Respect is hard to give when it's not received. Even if you are 'their parent'. When kids grow older, they know you have faults. They know you aren't perfect and that you are normal. You can't try to convince them that you automatically require respect because you are 'above it'. Nobody likes that. Kids are humans too. Treat them as such. They're not your pets or slaves. A good relationship with your kid is so important. I know good people who have made stupid mistakes because they can't talk to their parents.

In dating. Yes, fathers, your daughter is growing up and you won't always be the only man in her life. If you want grand-kids someday, have respect for this. Let your daughter date. You can't expect her to meet her husband on the first few dates. Don't be ridiculous! Life is short. Don't deny that you wish you had more time to date in your life. Parents, be there for your daughters/sons. If they want to get advice or share about their relationship problems. Let them. But give them space and don't jump to conclusions because if you say something wrong, they won't ever want to talk to you about it again.
If they don't want to talk about it with you, don't force them. Let them have their secrets. They are their own person. You can't control their opinions, actions or thoughts so please don't try.

So, I guess I didn't connect this with my story, but if you read both, I can see where/how you can make your own connection. Anyway, thank you lots for reading my blog. I enjoy sharing my thoughts with you and I hope you enjoy reading them.

-Rosemary Sprig

This is what happened

My story,
This is what happened:

This summer I went to Oregon, and I met a really sweet guy. He's nerdy, friendly and we have a lot in common. To my great delight, he gave me his number and it wasn't long later when we started texting each other. Okay, another thing you need to know. He's 19. I'm 15. I don't give a flying fuck. Neither does he. Yeah, I like him. I will say it's true, I don't really know him that well. But I want to. And I'd date him. And that should be fine. Dating isn't the same as sleeping together. And I am not the kind of person who would ever do that with anyone anyway unless I was married. It's not only part of my religion, but it's what I personally believe. Anyway, we only texted maybe twice, before he stopped replying. It honestly scared me a little because the last time someone stopped texting me it was because they didn't want me, because they rejected me. But I just told myself, "It's okay. He works. He's got a life, and I shouldn't expect anything from him." So, I decided not to. Only...The weeks have gone by and he still hasn't replied. It's driven me crazy. As impatient as I am, I wanted to befriend him on steam, get his facebook, get his skype, have afternoons where we game together or just chat. As much as I wanted it, I knew we couldn't have a relationship at the time anyway. He lived hundreds of miles away in a place I only ever visit once in the summer time and when I do, I stay with my grandparents who don't happen to be very supportive of dating and are kinda 'snooty' or, get their nose into other people's business. It wouldn't be hard for them to find out who the guy was and how old he was. Once they knew his age, that would be it. Damn, I don't even want to think about it. Anyway, I am thankful that at least my parent's are sensitive and fairly supportive about me dating. Even my dad, which happens to be a miracle. The fact that he was so much older did make him nervous though. We just avoid talking about it. So, the thought of this guy has lingered in my mind ever since Oregon and the point of not knowing what to make of it was probably one of the hardest things. In reality, it's simple. I want to hang out with him. Online or wherever I can. That should be fine. Then today, my mom told me that his mom said to her one day when we were in Oregon, "Did you know that your daughter and my 19-year-old-son are texting?" Then she brought up some petty concern like, "He's kinda behind and slow. He doesn't even have his drivers license yet." To me, that's fine, right. I don't have my license yet either, although I'm only 15 and that's expected, but what does that have to do with him talking to someone like me? All this tells that his mom has a lack of faith in him. That she doesn't trust him with things because he hasn't met her expectations and like there is something mentally wrong with a guy who hits on a girl who is 4 years younger than him. WHAT the F*CK, Lady!! What the hell?!? I only know part of it, right, so my opinion of this could be totally irrelevant. This is all I really know about his relationship with him mom, but now all I can think, is maybe he was meeting his mother's wish by not replying to me. I can't feel mad at her because that's like being mad at him, and I can't do that. It makes me mad at myself. But that whole thing is ridiculous. The idea still hurts. Maybe now this is enough knowledge to know that he's not the one. That we'll never date. Even if we both want to, and it may all be because of our silly society and parents.

-Rosemary Sprig

PS: Thank you again for reading my blog! Knowing that people voluntarily listen to my thoughts as I express them means a lot to me.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

For J.....

One day,
crept up on me,
with my mind away,

Your face,
fills a void, unseen.
How can I cast it away?
yet I try to, every day.

I try not to remember.
How can I forget?
Such joy, as I hoped for.

You bring me something whole.
when I close my eyes,
you're smile illuminates.
When silence, I hear your voice.

I see your wink.
With my every blink.
you touched my heart,
and planted a bomb.
and now you're gone.

I go through my day,
but it eats at my gut,
then twists up my lungs,
'till you're all on my mind

gasping for air,
and exhaling a storm,
just so I can carry on,
not dying for more.

when wind in my hair,
when birds sing,
sky beckons to me,
I talk to you inside,

hundreds of miles,
my thoughts carry me.
away through the breeze,

and I hear your voice,
inside my head,
it echoes across plains,
through the hills,
and bounces off trees,
not a whisper, not a breath,

another exhale,
pulling back tears.

Why is the hole so deep, yet?
When so close to being filled.
When hope is restored,
it deepens and bleeds.
Tell me why.

I smell the wind,
with every thought,
action, in deep concentration,
trying to calm the storm inside me,
so deep so salty sweet are it's waves,
I want more.

But I fear it.
It screams at me NO
t'will never happen, never can,

another breath, another sigh.
so uneven are my words,
no poem is worth it's weight.

I realize I can do nothing,
but wait. 
That I can do anything,
but that.

Then the pain subsides,
a miracle, a wish,
only for a moment,
I can move as one. myself. me.

Only a moment.
The din leaves.

even more, I fear you've forgotten me. That my emotions, a waste, a mistake. Even more, I hate myself for wishful thinking. Why can't I be thankful? For those two simple days, when you showed me your friendship. Truly, I am grateful. I wish I could stop there. Leave it at that. But when you're mind follows your heart, and your heart tells you to wish. Ignoring it is a tiring chore, not easy to discard. But I have, long ago. Or did I? I shall never know. Time will tell everything. Patience is always the key. The largest thing I lack. All on my own for this one. *takes deep breath.. Yeah.. Pahhsh. I miss you.