Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Lots of stuff—busy—time time time time time

The stress piles up. I don't know why. Maybe it shouldn't. That appears so.. Yet thinking leads to worrying. Time flies too quick. Remaining, always tired.. They say that I need to do this. They say they understand. "We're all busy." They repeat. They think all I do is play games. I'm a nerd. They all know. I joke around. That's what I do. Life sucks, so make things funny.. make others laugh. That's what I want. Almost none of them realize... I'm so much more than a gamer. A pony-lover... a simple nerd.

What I want and what I do:

What I do on a regular basis:
  • Read. It calms me. Adventures and stories have always been my true favorite things.
  • Draw. It makes me feel accomplished. The simple things to draw like ponies make me feel alive. I love colors. They vibrate in harmony.
  • Piano. I need more. I need to create music. I need to practice and learn. I want this.
  • Writing sheet music. Helping a friend and making my brain work. She has a tune and we're getting together to use my piano to write the piece on lined music paper.
  • Singing to songs. Hearing my voice. Practicing it. Strengthening it. It helps me feel the tune, the emotion, the music. It helps me hear the creation and connect.
  • Dancing to songs. I teach myself choreography. I know 4 songs by memory. As long as the tune is playing I can dance the whole thing. It helps me get active and get my whole body and being involved in creativity and expression.
  • Write poetry and blog
What I am starting to do, being influenced to do, and hope to get into:
  • Start voice acting for a friends cartoon web series that they hope to start.
  • Help prop making for my father's film studio. 
  • Help script writing for my father's film studio.
  • Help plot making and character development for my father's film studio.
  • Learn to use photoshop
  • Learn to write programs
  • Learn to use Blender-a program to create 3D animation
  • Learn to create websites
  • Continue to educate yourself on the pop-culture of the internet.
  • Learn to Film and Photograph for my father's film studio.
  • Learn HTML
  • Start Vlogging with a best friend
  • Record gaming and post to youtube channel
  • Practice typing/become a better typer

 As you can see, there is a LOT I do and wish to do with my time. A LOT I don't have time for, and a LOT I never have time for. This doesn't include all of the get-togethers I want to schedule with friends. There are a lot.
This has been going through my mind because people I've been a bit stressed and there are some people that thing could be directed at because they don't seem to get it.
For example, The (bsa) Venture Crew has been a very tough topic for me to think about lately. I'm definitely expected to contribute to the crew. I understand this. I understand that the crew can't function without lots of support and everyone doing their part. One thing I have always been horrible at is prioritizing. My problem is, I LOVE EVERYTHING, and I want to do EVERYTHING. I've been extremely stressed in the past. I've greatly considered quitting from the crew. I want to go on outings. That is another thing I want to do. Relating to crew, I want to:
  • Go camping with friends
  • Learn Scouting skills
  • Go to fun camps with friends
  • Learn how to raft or kayak or canoe or go backpacking etc..

These are things I want to do! The thing is, I am supposed to have a 'role'. A 'job'. If I could chose, I'd love to have the job as webmaster which I am currently listed as with my friends Brendan (who by the way is also a busy person) The thing is I would need to take and dedicate the time to learning how to create a website and doing so. I don't have the motivation to prioritize that so high. I have higher motivation to do things with people I'm close to and things that are closer in my comfort zone. I'm lazy. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only lazy human on his Earth. But because stating that does not support my cause and theme to this blog post, you should disregard it and continue reading what I have to say. I don't know when I will have time for all these things. Would you have time for all these things? Don't lie. No! Not even if you did completely stop playing Minecraft and Team Fortress 2 and watching Buffy and Dollhouse and Doctor Who and Eureka and Warehouse 13 and Merlin. And By the way, 4 of those 6 shows I have caught up to where they are still being created and airing. So, I only watch episodes of Dollhouse or Buffy every day not including days like today in which no episodes of anything were watched and no games of any kind were played and partially because I spent a large amount of my time writing this blog post.
Now, if you have a problem with my logic being illogical, then go leave because you obviously have no true perception of how the world really works and I would highly recommend taking a chill pill and sitting on some comfy couch with a good fiction book and a cup of tea to help you begin fixing this mistake in thinking that you have encountered.

Good-bye for now!

-Rosemary

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