Saturday, January 28, 2012

Crystal

Crystal

The Earth round and green,
Now shimmers majestic white,
She's a bride at the alter,
full of warm heart and bright joy,
curtains of white sheath the sky,
from it's dagger-sharp splendor,
powdered cloud-fragments,
shower down in flight,
with soft feather-landings,
white petals subsiding melancholy,
the once potent din:
is enveloped in peace.

~1/16/12~

Monday, January 23, 2012

Hypocrite

The thing I probably hate most out of everything in existence is haters. So logical, so rational, so... not-hypocritical is this. I made a Tumblr and my friend always nags me about how if I do this wrong I will be made fun of or if I do that wrong I will be shunned. Yet she loves Tumblr and is complaining that I never go on my Tumblr. Why don't I? Because I am bound to do SOMETHING wrong and haters will swarm me. Why does fear plague us so?? She says that one thing you CANNOT do on Tumblr ever, is be a hater.. Hmm, well lets see... that rules out... me an-- well, EVERYONE ON THIS FREAKING PLANET. Why is everyone so picky? I don't want a blog that I cannot be myself on and I cannot be myself as needed--in an interesting way-- UNLESS I am a critic, UNLESS I am a hater to some degree. And then, she says, nobody goes on blogspot (true! hah! I'm pretty sure) and she says: everyone goes on tumblr (true again, am I right?) Sometimes I wish people commented and looked at my blog and sometimes I am just so thankful people don't! Why? Because all that will happen is people judging, most-likely in a bad way. When am I ever positive about life on here? When will I ever not feel as lonely as the goshdarn Doctor!! I don't even care anymore! Stress just wacks me in the head like a baseball bat being held by Scout and I cannot handle this! I cannot be myself without the lack of social rules--of all kinds. Gosh my head hurts, the pressure of being the best in school, doing what I like to do freely, trying my hardest to be a bro to the guy I really like and wishing that things picked up pace, but knowing they shouldn't for the better--wishing he read my blog so he could see what goes on in my head and understand and enjoy it-- but now this, now tumblr, the internet. I am NEVER good enough for the standards of people like her and I just wanna let it out! Maybe she's not a good friend for me, but none of my favorite people seem to be. Nothing ever fits into place like they should! UGH! Thank God for places like Blogspot where I can get my frustration out!

~Through the mind of the pessimistic perfectionist~

Sincerely, Rosem

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Truth of Fear

I'm on a tight schedule, so I will make this brief. My whole life I went along without having a true, intense fear. When I was younger, spiders made me yell, bees made me cry, heights made me stiff, but never had I truly found my fear. As I journey into my teenage years, I have discovered much about myself and since, uncovered my true fear. The one thing I am truly afraid of is people. Oh sure, I love people. They can be funny, friendly, kind, loving, but I also love bats, snakes, spiders, frogs, heights, roller coasters, trains, planes, bees...... The list goes on. What I am truly and sincerely afraid of is people. They have the power to do whatever they please and their hearts and minds are not always for the good. I am afraid of them hurting, killing, abusing power and what evil they can accomplish if they put their mind to it. I am also, however, afraid of the lack of people. I fear being alone or sometimes individual at some point. However, I realize that these fears are irrational and hypocritical, but are they still legitimate? They must be some sort of rationality to them or they wouldn't be there. What is your opinion of fear? Feel free to share your own fear or analogy of fear from your point of view.

~Rosem