Thursday, December 27, 2012

Quote from a beautiful song



Underneath The Stars- The Cure

Floating here
Like this with you
Underneath the stars
Aligned
For 13 billion years
The view
It's beautiful
And ours alone tonight
Underneath the stars

Spinning round
And round with you
Watching shadows
Melt the light
So shining
From our eyes
A tear
Another space is ours
Alone tonight
Watch as shadows melt

The waves, break
The waves, break

Whisper in my ear, a wish
"We could drift away so far"
Your voice
Inside of my head
Like this
It's infinite
The hours alone tonight
We could drift away

Flying here
Like this with you
Underneath the stars
Aligned
For 13 billion years
The view
It's beautiful
And ours alone tonight
Underneath the stars

(Everything is gone?)

Everything Gone
and all still to come
as nothing to us
together as one
In each other's arms
So near and so far
Together as now
Underneath the stars

As the waves, break

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry christmas break

Hello everyone! I am exhausted right now because I spent all day setting up my new android I got for christmas. It used to be my dads but he cleaned it up and gave it to me. I really like it!!! Its ways better than my old old blackberry which was kind-of a disgrace to smart phones. Now I can blog from anywhere! Oh yeah! I have installed a buncha aps like temple run, blogger, and tetras. Now when I go on vacation i'll stay connected better. It makes me happy. Although I have definitely wasted most of the day just messing with my phone when I could been getting things done. Shout out to my handsome boyfriend who is away at his dads house with little to no internet or phone service. Poor dear. I don't know how he'll survive. Hey sweetie! Been thinking of you! Have a great time okay!
Merry christmas everyone!! :) Happy holidays! Have a great day! Lots of love! -Rosemary <3

Friday, December 14, 2012

Intelligence From The Beatles

"What would you do if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm,I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna to try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I just need someone to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Ooh, I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends"

Every word of it. God Bless you're face!

~Rosem ;P

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving

So here's my story,
I'm gonna write in poetry. I know I can't rhyme, but this is my time. I'm gonna write all poetically.
Just a normal girl. Hey, we all got our story, we all got our tune. Sometimes it's harder to find our beat, our tempo, our rhythm, but once we do, it's there.
Many a time, I feel alone. From the time I was young, all I wanted was the one. All I knew was that I wanted someone. You may know me. I'm poetic, I'm creative. Every ml of blood in my veins is creative, and full of the wish for peace, beauty, and blissful energy.
When I was 10, was the first time I really felt I knew love. It was a silly young crush. There is a lot one doesn't understand at the age of 10. All I knew was I liked this boy. I liked him more than I've ever liked a boy. He was one of 'those boys'. Lots of tears, missing him, butterflies.. That's the life of a girl 'in love'. I got over him.. Crushes come and go, that's the life of a girl.
When I was 13, I met a boy, I really liked him. He liked me too. I was 'in love'. He became my first boyfriend. I did love him. I still do. But that kind of 'love'/lust comes and goes. We never found our balance. There was much never satisfied and the connection left between us. There were many tears, and holes unfilled. Too much distance, too much space, and not enough communication. I was young. He was my first love. I did love him. I still do. We are friends. We were together 10 months. It was a good experience I don't regret. Life goes on.
Time passed after this. My heart felt broken, but it was never complete. It took me months to stop crying. Months to disconnect. So what does all this have to do with Thanksgiving? We all have our story, we all got our tune. Independence comes harder for some than others, for me, it's a struggle. There were boys here and there which caught my eye. Always with me getting attached, being 'in love'. Always just lust, hormones.
Last year was the year I started to find myself. I found my place. I found friends; my loneliness decreased. I found my center of balance. My independence in the world started to grow.
And over the summer I met a boy who just so happened to be there when I felt alone. And he showed interest in me. It never really became anything. I didn't let it. We weren't ready. It wasn't there. We were just becoming friends. He had a busy lifestyle, and lived far away. It was easier to move on.
And so my first day as a Sophomore at the High school came around. I was ready to make friends. Ready to move one. Ready to find someone, yes, that thought crossed my mind. I'll be honest, It had been 2-3 years since I had anyone. That was long enough for me. I'm not the type to date people constantly. I'm not the type to have anything that won't last more than 2 months. My own life is important to me. As much as I wanted a significant other, I understand that I needed to find myself first. But I was ready. Ready to meet new people, make new friends. Flirt, meet boys. It did take more than a couple weeks to adjust. Everything was new. I am a shy person. But I found that 'Pinkie Pie' inside me, and I took it. Embraced it. Now, I have met many new beautiful people and made many new friends. Even from last year, when I had one class at the high school, a boy caught my eye. Mostly because he was a Brony. He would wear a Rainbow Dash shirt, and he was cute. I always wanted to meet this guy, to be his friend. I mean, common, he's a nerd. Like me. And I make friends with every Brony. I've met 6 new ones this year already. As nerds, and a member of the Pony fandom, very accepting people. Okay, so let me un-ramble myself..
I remember, for a long time the one exchange of words we made were, "I like your shirt". The stress and pressure on myself at the beginning of the year was high for me to make new friends. That's how I find my place, is by meeting many new people. Haha.. Well, the last thing I expected was to fall in love. Truly. I say that now. So bluntly, and so honestly, "The last thing I expected was to fall in love." Everything happened so quickly. It just fell into place. His cool, calm personality attracted me to him. Everything was awkward. This is the point in this post, where I run out of words. The only way to explain this is in an actual poem. Let me just say.. there is no comparison. Of the way I feel to any other moment of love in my life. To any other crush. Any other boy. Ever. There is no comparison. And my whole life I struggled with the concept of 'Love at first sight'. Wondering if it was true. Falling in and out of love, in and out of believing in that statement. You may not believe in it, but after this. I know I do.

"I love everything about you :) Temporary or not, this match was made in heaven. I have no doubt"
There is something about human love. Perfection can't compare. When you are so close to someone so unexpectedly. When everything about you clicks together. There is no power in the 'verse that can stop me. No power that can stop us. When you can live every moment of your life in peace of soul. Peace that was given to you by another's existence. Nothing more. 
When every shooting star is just like another crow in the sky. So content, the rain washing away all filth and leaving the air clear and cool. The wind blows your face, your hair, but your mind is left untangled. There is nothing more that I want in life. If there is something more perfect than this feeling, I will cry to know and see that day. And pray, crying, that others feel that power as I have. There is nothing uneasy about this connection. Nothing at all out of place. My judgment isn't clouded. There is no sign of imperfection. No sign of struggle. No notice of hate. I am a careful watcher. A thorough thinker. Perfectionist. Every pebble drops, I take note, but when I see the love in someone's eyes. When I feel their affection without touch, I am at loss for words. I sound delusional. I sound like this is too good to be true. Like something horrible will end it all and I'll be alone. Because fairytales don't happen. Every bliss has an evil to make up for it. What is left in life if not love. If love is absent, there is no life. Evil comes and goes. But life goes on. Love endures.

So what does this relate to Thanksgiving?
The impossible happened to me.
Love.
Love happened.

It happened so swift, so calmly.
As it has happened as long as I've lived.
Love brings great joy. It's all I need.
"All you need is love"-Beatles
I know.

So Thanks.
Thanks for love.
Thanks for family.
Thanks for friends.

I am so content.
I am so at peace.
All because of love.
I have all I ever wanted.
I need nothing more.

Thanks God.
Thanks life.
Thanks liberty.
Thanks Love.
~Rosem~Sprig~

Monday, November 5, 2012

Political View: Romney VS Obama

Yeah, so there has been a lot of fuss about this upcoming election. And I know a lot of people who are strongly for Romney or strongly for Obama. And before the elections are over. I want to express my official opinion on the subject.

I don't care how bad you think Obama is. Romney, is worse. Not only is he completely and totally naive. He has no real plan. His only plan is to get elected. He is fascist, sexist, racist, and homophobic. No only are those things unconstitutional, not at all what out country does and should stand for, but it is extremely hateful. Do you really think someone who cannot make up their mind about their opinions, but always bashes different groups of people should lead our country? The only things he says are to try to gain votes. The only real plan he has is to be elected for president. The only true motive he has shown is hate and biased for what he personally believes. What he, personally is used to. What he, personally likes.

Watch, he'll get elected. Make people feel like shit, get nothing done, cause problems with other countries. Start or continue spending money on wars with other countries, cause the zombie apocalypse, and if he doesn't cause WWIII, all you people who voted for him will feel dumber as hell than when you voted for Bush.

I don't understand how you can think that someone who cannot make up their mind, who obviously has no plan at all could be a good president for this country.
I cannot comprehend how you can think that Obama caused problems for this country when the shit he had to deal with was something that was given to him previously. When a republican makes stupid moves for this country, wastes money and a democrat gets this crap to deal with, and who does the republican party blame for the debt? Who does the republican party blame for the problems? They blame the Democrat.

I realize that there are a lot more factors involved. I also realize that President Obama had 'time' and made a larger debt. But nobody should expect a problem that big to just go away in a couple years.
Now, if you still think Obama won't make a good president, alright, don't vote for him. But if Romney wins the election. I won't know what to do with my life. I will be ashamed of what this country has become. Where have all the intelligent people gone? I am legitimately scared of someone like Romney running our country.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

To Be a Hummingbird

If only I could be a hummingbird,
I'd join my friends to sing and dance,
to zip and chirp through the breeze.
I'd land on a branch or a twig to catch my breath,
yet swoop away at a moments glance,
chancing my friends around the branch,
bringing smiles to children's faces,
making young'ons laugh.
If only I could be a hummingbird,
I'd sing through the sun and rain,
admiring the snow as it falls,
and sing and spin through it again,
I'd be Rebounding off the leaf,
Race through holes the eye's can't see,
they can't catch me, I'll always be free.
~To Be a Hummingbird~Rosemary Sprig

I apologize. My on-hand(or mind) vocabulary isn't very high. :P Have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

One of my problems

I am sure you are aware that like any other human being, I have many problems. This post, however is only expressing one problem that I face.

My Problem is this...
This is a list of everything I want to do with my life:
-Knit
-Read
-Write
-Blog
-Sing
-Play Piano
-Record me singing/playing piano
-Be able to edit those videos
-Write music/create music
-Draw
-Paint
-Photograph
-Dance
-Design Games
-Program Games
-Create websites

I know right now that It is not physically possible to do all of these things AND have a separate job. This means I am going to have to have a job that involves some of these things. As you can see, I have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. I am so close, but so far away from knowing. Anyone with suggestions for jobs, please comment.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Gay Rights

I know I have brought this up before, but this time, I have done some research.
Okay, so I looked up a bunch about gay rights, and the whole debate on that.

http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/wedding/a/unionvmarriage.htm
 That website states clearly the differences between Marriage and Civil Unions.
Gay couples are COMPLETELY DENIED THEIR RIGHTS. I don't care what your religious beliefs are. Marriage has become something people don't always do in the church. It is completely separate. It has become an official record of rights given to two people who love each other.

On this site here: http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/wedding/f/MarriageBenefit.htm It lists 25 rights that gay couples don't have if they aren't legally married. There is no excuse except judgment and the lack of acceptance of others for not allowing gay-marriage. It is truly unconstitutional. There is always room for change.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

This is what I hate about some parents

This is what I hate about some parents:

Before I start I would like to say that this is quite stereotypical and this may completely not apply to your or anyone's parents. This is also quite general.

Some parent's forget they have kids. Okay, so they don't, but they are so busy and so wrapped up in their own life that they don't spend time with them. Spend time with your kids. Teach them. Play with them. If they feel loved and included at an early age, they will have a better and more successful life growing up. I say this because I know some parents that send their children out of the room. Some say, "Go play!" They want their 'adult time'. Kids feel that. I know. I'm a kid. I've been a child. All I wanted was to be included in the older-people ways. I was always attracted to older kids, and older people were more interesting to me, but most of the time, they continued to treat me like I was a stupid, naive kid. That hurt. God bless my parent's who never once did this to me. I love them dearly.

When parent's say things like, "You're only 10 years old. You can't fall in love." Screw you. Anyone can feel love at any time in their lives. It doesn't mean it's so sexual as you think. People can have crushes their whole lives and can fall in love as early as 10, maybe earlier. Age really doesn't matter. Maturity and age have close to nothing in common. So don't say that. Have empathy. Please.

When parent's don't have faith in their teenagers/young adults. You talk to your kids! You teach them not to lie! Teach them that they can talk to you whenever they want about whatever they want and you won't judge them. You have to play your part. You can't get mad at them for having opinions.
That's something that builds rebels. If they trusted you with something that means a lot to them, don't tell them they are wrong. Don't punish them. Have some respect!! Especially if you want respect in return. Respect is hard to give when it's not received. Even if you are 'their parent'. When kids grow older, they know you have faults. They know you aren't perfect and that you are normal. You can't try to convince them that you automatically require respect because you are 'above it'. Nobody likes that. Kids are humans too. Treat them as such. They're not your pets or slaves. A good relationship with your kid is so important. I know good people who have made stupid mistakes because they can't talk to their parents.

In dating. Yes, fathers, your daughter is growing up and you won't always be the only man in her life. If you want grand-kids someday, have respect for this. Let your daughter date. You can't expect her to meet her husband on the first few dates. Don't be ridiculous! Life is short. Don't deny that you wish you had more time to date in your life. Parents, be there for your daughters/sons. If they want to get advice or share about their relationship problems. Let them. But give them space and don't jump to conclusions because if you say something wrong, they won't ever want to talk to you about it again.
If they don't want to talk about it with you, don't force them. Let them have their secrets. They are their own person. You can't control their opinions, actions or thoughts so please don't try.

So, I guess I didn't connect this with my story, but if you read both, I can see where/how you can make your own connection. Anyway, thank you lots for reading my blog. I enjoy sharing my thoughts with you and I hope you enjoy reading them.

-Rosemary Sprig

This is what happened

My story,
This is what happened:

This summer I went to Oregon, and I met a really sweet guy. He's nerdy, friendly and we have a lot in common. To my great delight, he gave me his number and it wasn't long later when we started texting each other. Okay, another thing you need to know. He's 19. I'm 15. I don't give a flying fuck. Neither does he. Yeah, I like him. I will say it's true, I don't really know him that well. But I want to. And I'd date him. And that should be fine. Dating isn't the same as sleeping together. And I am not the kind of person who would ever do that with anyone anyway unless I was married. It's not only part of my religion, but it's what I personally believe. Anyway, we only texted maybe twice, before he stopped replying. It honestly scared me a little because the last time someone stopped texting me it was because they didn't want me, because they rejected me. But I just told myself, "It's okay. He works. He's got a life, and I shouldn't expect anything from him." So, I decided not to. Only...The weeks have gone by and he still hasn't replied. It's driven me crazy. As impatient as I am, I wanted to befriend him on steam, get his facebook, get his skype, have afternoons where we game together or just chat. As much as I wanted it, I knew we couldn't have a relationship at the time anyway. He lived hundreds of miles away in a place I only ever visit once in the summer time and when I do, I stay with my grandparents who don't happen to be very supportive of dating and are kinda 'snooty' or, get their nose into other people's business. It wouldn't be hard for them to find out who the guy was and how old he was. Once they knew his age, that would be it. Damn, I don't even want to think about it. Anyway, I am thankful that at least my parent's are sensitive and fairly supportive about me dating. Even my dad, which happens to be a miracle. The fact that he was so much older did make him nervous though. We just avoid talking about it. So, the thought of this guy has lingered in my mind ever since Oregon and the point of not knowing what to make of it was probably one of the hardest things. In reality, it's simple. I want to hang out with him. Online or wherever I can. That should be fine. Then today, my mom told me that his mom said to her one day when we were in Oregon, "Did you know that your daughter and my 19-year-old-son are texting?" Then she brought up some petty concern like, "He's kinda behind and slow. He doesn't even have his drivers license yet." To me, that's fine, right. I don't have my license yet either, although I'm only 15 and that's expected, but what does that have to do with him talking to someone like me? All this tells that his mom has a lack of faith in him. That she doesn't trust him with things because he hasn't met her expectations and like there is something mentally wrong with a guy who hits on a girl who is 4 years younger than him. WHAT the F*CK, Lady!! What the hell?!? I only know part of it, right, so my opinion of this could be totally irrelevant. This is all I really know about his relationship with him mom, but now all I can think, is maybe he was meeting his mother's wish by not replying to me. I can't feel mad at her because that's like being mad at him, and I can't do that. It makes me mad at myself. But that whole thing is ridiculous. The idea still hurts. Maybe now this is enough knowledge to know that he's not the one. That we'll never date. Even if we both want to, and it may all be because of our silly society and parents.

-Rosemary Sprig

PS: Thank you again for reading my blog! Knowing that people voluntarily listen to my thoughts as I express them means a lot to me.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

For J.....



One day,
crept up on me,
with my mind away,

Your face,
fills a void, unseen.
How can I cast it away?
yet I try to, every day.

I try not to remember.
How can I forget?
Such joy, as I hoped for.

You bring me something whole.
when I close my eyes,
you're smile illuminates.
When silence, I hear your voice.

I see your wink.
With my every blink.
you touched my heart,
and planted a bomb.
and now you're gone.

I go through my day,
but it eats at my gut,
then twists up my lungs,
'till you're all on my mind

gasping for air,
and exhaling a storm,
just so I can carry on,
not dying for more.

when wind in my hair,
when birds sing,
sky beckons to me,
I talk to you inside,

hundreds of miles,
my thoughts carry me.
away through the breeze,

and I hear your voice,
inside my head,
it echoes across plains,
through the hills,
and bounces off trees,
not a whisper, not a breath,

another exhale,
pulling back tears.

Why is the hole so deep, yet?
When so close to being filled.
When hope is restored,
it deepens and bleeds.
Tell me why.

I smell the wind,
with every thought,
action, in deep concentration,
trying to calm the storm inside me,
so deep so salty sweet are it's waves,
I want more.

But I fear it.
It screams at me NO
t'will never happen, never can,

another breath, another sigh.
so uneven are my words,
no poem is worth it's weight.

I realize I can do nothing,
but wait. 
That I can do anything,
but that.

Then the pain subsides,
a miracle, a wish,
only for a moment,
I can move as one. myself. me.

Only a moment.
The din leaves.


even more, I fear you've forgotten me. That my emotions, a waste, a mistake. Even more, I hate myself for wishful thinking. Why can't I be thankful? For those two simple days, when you showed me your friendship. Truly, I am grateful. I wish I could stop there. Leave it at that. But when you're mind follows your heart, and your heart tells you to wish. Ignoring it is a tiring chore, not easy to discard. But I have, long ago. Or did I? I shall never know. Time will tell everything. Patience is always the key. The largest thing I lack. All on my own for this one. *takes deep breath.. Yeah.. Pahhsh. I miss you.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Majestic Luna


Luna, shining down,
luminous is her allure,
the clouds dare try to obscure her light
but to no avail
her rays illuminate the vast black night
trees sparkle in her glory
enlivening the barren haze
her curtain of stars and her veil of white
billowing through the wind show her might
a majestic creature
untouchable, indefinable
mighty and wondrous as an angel
guarding and keeping the night
reminding us as we stand on Earth
we are not all-powerful nor ever alone

~8/1/12~

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Why I Believe in Angels

There are things in life that we come to realize we will never understand. Things that we will never know. All humans dwell on this level of understanding that even the strongest of us cannot comprehend the things that were not made for humans to comprehend.
Belief comes without knowing. It does not exist with proof. It exists with faith which is something that can easily be forgotten, but when I take a moment, I truly know that I have faith in my religion. In God, and in Angels.

It is interesting that many people in this world believe in demons, devils and evil spirits. Even people without any religion. In a way this isn't understandable to me because why would someone want to disregard faith in things that are beautiful and pure and instead indulge in the thought of evil. However, as humans we are, mishap entertain us. So, let me speak less fluidly...

I know, as the animal lover I am, that when I study my pets behaviors or hear stories from friends I notice something. Many have to look closely, and most don't spend their time in this way, but cats frequently gaze off at things that remain unseen by human eyes. Dogs sometimes growl or bark when evil spirits or vibes are near. This is biased, but I believe that cats are smarter than dogs and seem to stay more in touch with their surroundings. This is why dogs show more fear when unaware and cats run away to study their surroundings. Sometimes I see my cat pause in the middle of grooming herself to look at the air beside me. People have cats that hunt things on the walls for play that they themselves cannot see.

I Believe in Angels. When I see my cat stop and look at the air with a longing love, I know she's probably seeing my guardian angel. Animals, unlike people do not analyze in a creative aspect. That is the difference. And because of this, animals do not fear things like Angels or other things unseen because they are used to it, because they can sense the vibe and peace and they know that it is safe. But humans are unpredictable and faulty (as well as creative and beautiful) and if they were to see Angels or demons or those other things unseen all the time, you could imagine how wacky things could get. When God sent down his son and self in human form, the most pure, loving Jesus, what did people do, we crucified him!! People as a whole cannot understand things so pure, because they are driven by passions (why we--orthodox Christians-- fast).

I also believe that every one of us has a guardian angel. Even those of us who chose not to believe it. Even those of us who are weak to our passions and make evil decisions. Because God is loving, he cares and that is why he doesn't force himself upon us because he knows that faith cannot be forced. It can only be chosen. People who don't understand think that there is no God because evil befalls the world. No, evil befalls the world because people let it.

Demons, are not monsters. They are not like evil ghosts and zombies from fairytale. Demons are merely fallen Angels. As humans have fallen people like Hitler or the man who killed people in the theater in Colorado. Demons are not ours to deal with, but you should not be afraid because if you truly believe, and ask of God, he won't let harm from demons befall you. However, humans are our kin, and I believe that when they fall, no matter how far, we should pray for them to bring them back on their feet. We cannot do this ourselves. Only God can. That's why pray.

Note: These are my beliefs and as I said, "faith cannot be forced. It can only be chosen." So, I do not expect you to believe anything I wrote or to change your own beliefs. I am merely sharing what I believe.

Thank you for reading,

-Rosemary Sprig

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Is being LGBT a sin?

Hello, I know this is a bitter and highly opinionated topic, but it has been bothering me a bit lately and I wish to share my thoughts on it.

So, although I am a Christian I still wonder why it is that most Christians don't accept gays? Even Christians who are very accepting people, generally just don't accept gays. Many or most consider being gay a sin. I would like to find evidence and information in the bible about why Christians believe that. The way I see it is that God is very loving, accepting and patient. He wants people to be with those they love. He does. And animals commonly show signs of non-straight behavior towards each other including sex with the same gender. Is it more than a natural instinct to reproduce? So, why should it be labeled 'bad'? Why should it be discriminated against when the same gender loves each other? Because they don't have the right body parts? That's on the outside. They weren't 'made' for each other, they weren't intended by God to be together? You can't force love. Real Love is from the soul. That has nothing to do with body parts. Then... if it's a sin, should someone be forced to 'overcome' it and marry the opposite gender when they truly love the same gender? When their heart tells them that? Is it a sin to follow your heart then? Can your heart lie to you? Or are you just saying that people can't find real love in the same gender? How do you know? You don't. You can't. If you are straight and have never found real love in the same gender, that doesn't mean that someone else can't. That's like saying Deserts don't exist because I live in a warm tree and mountainous climate and have never been to a desert myself or seen it with my own eyes.

On the other hand, God made male and female animals with male and female parts so they could mate and reproduce. But people were also made with a special kind of soul. They are more than just animals. But all animals and people are flawed. God's intention was to have man be for woman and woman for man, so is it a flaw for man to be for man and woman for woman?? Remember, people evolve. Things change and everything evolves. Even God changes his mind about things. The bible has many examples of this like Noah and the Arc or Comparing rules like the Sabbath from the Old Testament to the New and even a long time ago nobody talked about gays. There is hardly anything in the bible that mentions gay people. It's not relevant. So, why do people care so much? Why is it labeled 'good' or 'bad', a sin or not? People need to get over differences. People need to stop caring so much about everything. It's not essential to life to label everything and you humans will never satisfy your curiosity or comprehend everything you wish to. You are not meant to know everything and that is good. Shut up and be content! (in a way I am talking to myself as well)

So why am I still worried? Why does this bother me? God loves people. He has the patience and strength to love all people regardless of their sins and mistakes. He accepts them. That makes him so much greater than any human could be. Why do I care so much if it's good or bad to ship gays or enjoy their romances?? Probably because of society. Being around people who care too much makes you think, worry, and care too much. So, take a breather and stop thinking.

On a slightly different note, this doesn't really relate to gay rights. I do support gay rights because whether you accept it or not, there are gay people in this world and there always will be. Removing their rights to freedom of having the same rights as everyone else does not prevent them from being gay. They will still have their romance, boyfriends and girlfriends and they will still do what they do because frankly, they don't give a f*** what anyone else thinks. Depriving them of their natural rights as citizens is wrong.
I am a Christian and I strongly support the acceptance of differences and the freedom of expression. Don't try to change others. You CAN'T. It is not possible to force your opinions on others. Give up on the wars and the riots and the hating. It is a damn waste of your time and makes me sad. The end.

-Rosemary Sprig

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Lots of stuff—busy—time time time time time

The stress piles up. I don't know why. Maybe it shouldn't. That appears so.. Yet thinking leads to worrying. Time flies too quick. Remaining, always tired.. They say that I need to do this. They say they understand. "We're all busy." They repeat. They think all I do is play games. I'm a nerd. They all know. I joke around. That's what I do. Life sucks, so make things funny.. make others laugh. That's what I want. Almost none of them realize... I'm so much more than a gamer. A pony-lover... a simple nerd.

What I want and what I do:

What I do on a regular basis:
  • Read. It calms me. Adventures and stories have always been my true favorite things.
  • Draw. It makes me feel accomplished. The simple things to draw like ponies make me feel alive. I love colors. They vibrate in harmony.
  • Piano. I need more. I need to create music. I need to practice and learn. I want this.
  • Writing sheet music. Helping a friend and making my brain work. She has a tune and we're getting together to use my piano to write the piece on lined music paper.
  • Singing to songs. Hearing my voice. Practicing it. Strengthening it. It helps me feel the tune, the emotion, the music. It helps me hear the creation and connect.
  • Dancing to songs. I teach myself choreography. I know 4 songs by memory. As long as the tune is playing I can dance the whole thing. It helps me get active and get my whole body and being involved in creativity and expression.
  • Write poetry and blog
What I am starting to do, being influenced to do, and hope to get into:
  • Start voice acting for a friends cartoon web series that they hope to start.
  • Help prop making for my father's film studio. 
  • Help script writing for my father's film studio.
  • Help plot making and character development for my father's film studio.
  • Learn to use photoshop
  • Learn to write programs
  • Learn to use Blender-a program to create 3D animation
  • Learn to create websites
  • Continue to educate yourself on the pop-culture of the internet.
  • Learn to Film and Photograph for my father's film studio.
  • Learn HTML
  • Start Vlogging with a best friend
  • Record gaming and post to youtube channel
  • Practice typing/become a better typer

 As you can see, there is a LOT I do and wish to do with my time. A LOT I don't have time for, and a LOT I never have time for. This doesn't include all of the get-togethers I want to schedule with friends. There are a lot.
This has been going through my mind because people I've been a bit stressed and there are some people that thing could be directed at because they don't seem to get it.
For example, The (bsa) Venture Crew has been a very tough topic for me to think about lately. I'm definitely expected to contribute to the crew. I understand this. I understand that the crew can't function without lots of support and everyone doing their part. One thing I have always been horrible at is prioritizing. My problem is, I LOVE EVERYTHING, and I want to do EVERYTHING. I've been extremely stressed in the past. I've greatly considered quitting from the crew. I want to go on outings. That is another thing I want to do. Relating to crew, I want to:
  • Go camping with friends
  • Learn Scouting skills
  • Go to fun camps with friends
  • Learn how to raft or kayak or canoe or go backpacking etc..

These are things I want to do! The thing is, I am supposed to have a 'role'. A 'job'. If I could chose, I'd love to have the job as webmaster which I am currently listed as with my friends Brendan (who by the way is also a busy person) The thing is I would need to take and dedicate the time to learning how to create a website and doing so. I don't have the motivation to prioritize that so high. I have higher motivation to do things with people I'm close to and things that are closer in my comfort zone. I'm lazy. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only lazy human on his Earth. But because stating that does not support my cause and theme to this blog post, you should disregard it and continue reading what I have to say. I don't know when I will have time for all these things. Would you have time for all these things? Don't lie. No! Not even if you did completely stop playing Minecraft and Team Fortress 2 and watching Buffy and Dollhouse and Doctor Who and Eureka and Warehouse 13 and Merlin. And By the way, 4 of those 6 shows I have caught up to where they are still being created and airing. So, I only watch episodes of Dollhouse or Buffy every day not including days like today in which no episodes of anything were watched and no games of any kind were played and partially because I spent a large amount of my time writing this blog post.
Now, if you have a problem with my logic being illogical, then go leave because you obviously have no true perception of how the world really works and I would highly recommend taking a chill pill and sitting on some comfy couch with a good fiction book and a cup of tea to help you begin fixing this mistake in thinking that you have encountered.

Good-bye for now!

-Rosemary

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Me, myself and I

Talking about myself and my strengths in life make me feel selfish and arrogant, however, given that my self-confidence level is way down lately, I hope you don't mind if I talk about myself.

In a way, I am incredibly good at pretending that I know things. Even the things I am most passionate about, to be honest, I don't know a lot about. —Other than my faith in God, these things tied are: Valve Games and Joss Whedon movies/shows/productions.— Everyone naturally tries to be accepted in life in someway. I've caught myself pretending to know all about the things I'm into. Well, I don't know more than the obvious. What I'm trying to say is, I don't look things up. My first excuse is that I just don't remember things anyway, which is partly true. There are a lot of things I don't remember. Another is that I love so many different things that I never find time to study merely one of them. In the same way that I am not afraid of snakes, spiders, bats, the dark, needles, blood, organs, ghosts etc..., There isn't a lot I dislike doing. I love horror, comedy, romance, playing sports (for fun, with friends), playing video games, playing board games, talking, writing, reading, singing, drawing, playing the piano, writing music, writing poetry, making videos, taking pictures... etc.

But I am shy. And loud. One of my friends calls me a classic introvert. I am in a way, but I am an extrovert as well. I grew up an only child with close parents. I had the same circle of friends, and we never moved much. I was always shy. I was always scared of people. I still am. To me, I find it exhausting trying to deal being with large groups of people. Even more than 4, even if they are all my friends. Ridiculously, it's overwhelming. People stress me out, but it's not like that. As long as I know them. As long as I am close to any or most of any number of people, I can be as crazy or outgoing as ever, and that's fine. Afterwards I feel relieved and tired. I think some of you may know what I mean.

On another note, out of people I see or meet, I've always felt like I had more in common and closer connections to the older kids. For the longest time, I couldn't ever be close with them. They were always older and there was always something preventing them from accepting me without labels or expectations. I've never really been an understandable character anyway, not even to myself. Now that I get older, I see everyone else around me grow up, and as people have told me, and I have noticed, I am way more mentally ahead of some of them. I would love to make friends with the Juniors and Seniors. I would die to have coffee with the college kids and talk. The thing is that I don't even know if I could talk to them. There are many things that I don't know or understand or haven't had experience with that people with such a large age difference would understand. Things that I do learn I frequently forget, and I don't have a lot of time or connections to make friends with these people. I'd be too shy and afraid to go and say hi to them. Even if I have things in common with them. Deep inside, I fear rejection. That's not all. Deep inside, I fear the world. I fear leaving the comfort zone I am so used to. And I'm afraid of failing. Even though I know I will. That's how people grow is by failing and trying things again. I'm not a risk taker. I don't like taking risks, or dealing with new situations. And I don't want to be alone.

<3
Rosem

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Writing

I've felt horrible for a while now. Never could figure out why, how or how to fix it; to feel better. Never fully anyway. And so today, I just wrote. Got off of Minecraft, and wrote. It's amazing how much writing can make you feel better. For the longest time I couldn't write in the style/format that I wanted to, so I just stopped writing. Bad move. Really unhelpful. It's almost like it causes depression. It doesn't. It just prevents getting rid of it. Well, for me anyway. Thank God that I actually wrote today. I started out trying to write in a poetry format. Nope. Let it out. Raged. It's not on here: my blog. Nor will it ever be. And that's probably a good thing. Ohh. I feel relieved. Now all I need is sleep. LOTS OF SLEEP. I need to sleep on it. I haven't slept well in a while. All week it feels like.. My cat stopped sleeping with me this week. Probably I was kicking her in my sleep. I do that: kick in my sleep. I probably have Restless Leg Syndrome. It sucks. But whatever. Nuf said. You guys don't need to know a description of each of my health problems. *laughs to self in head... So now, goodnight. I hope you sleep better than I have previously.
       With <3
                           Rosem

Monday, April 23, 2012

I post online (to Facebook) too often

I pretend that I know what I'm doing in my life, in this world. I post about random things that I learn or experience. Or often just random things that I say or think. Haha! I post about things that I think amuse me. Frequently these things, are about, me; because I'm a selfish self-centered human being, like everyone. Moving on... The reality is, I post to places like Facebook so that I can express my thoughts, feelings and emotions without... well... talking to myself (although I am guilty of this practice as well). Sometimes I wonder if I'm just pissing everyone off by Spamming their freaking wall! Well, ya know what! ....  *looses assertive/aggressive streak.... I use Facebook as a blog. A lazy blog. Kinda like any normal person would use Twitter. Only, I use Facebook. Does that make sense? Not really Why? Well now you got me wondering why I use Facebook and not Twitter Oh. Well, That was unintentional. I apologize. Apologize? To yourself? Seriously? *Starts laughing out loud. Well, honestly, you deserve an apology because I put you down a lot and happen to consistently unintentionally make you over-think everything (As I just did). This is the part where the verbally-speaking part of me says I'm a freak. To be honest, I don't care. I love being a freak. That's who I am. Except, I don't like the term: freak. It makes me sound like a horrible unlikable person. Which I admit, I'm not. Because I have obviously already gotten my point across and now I am just rambling... goodbye!


Rosem <3

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Wish

say you give me one wish,
what will it be?
to see green in our Earth,
fall asleep with our stars?

gaze into night,
float up in dream
pray sleepless light,
blind tears and keep,

say you give me one wish,
what will you chose?
to forever lie on beaches,
listen to ocean's song?

let oceans cry,
hear oceans pray,
pray oceans peace,
lay still and wish,

say you give me one chance,
what songs will you sing?
will you light the horizon,
and watch it burn with violet flame?

inhale through teeth,
drops of life flow free,
black night paints ink,
these are nay a dream,

what is it I wish?
I know and shan't speak,

~4-3-12~

Friday, February 24, 2012

River and Fear

I try so hard,
but to no avail,
gazing at the sky,
I wish I could sail,

the wind would guide me safely,
relaxed, I'd calmly glide,
and the clouds would be my shelter,
my feelings need not hide,

If only dreams came true,
I'd live my life in sunlight,
with peace and love anew,
loving with strength and might,

If only rain calmed weary minds,
not shatter as fragments of glass,
infinite tears fall as rain,
the sorrow need come to pass,

And so I stay here waiting,
the silence is my curse,
patience is a virtue,
it could only just get worse.

~2/2/12~

Rhythm of An Artist

melting petals,
shouting cries,
all I need are your smiling eyes,

folded hands,
tightly gripping,
can't help, it's what I keep on wishing,

no need to boast,
just keeping close,
my clouding sight,
dream, now gone, once sparkled bright,

through I keep on singing,
the buzz keeps ringing,
shall the din ever subside?

~2012~

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Crystal

Crystal

The Earth round and green,
Now shimmers majestic white,
She's a bride at the alter,
full of warm heart and bright joy,
curtains of white sheath the sky,
from it's dagger-sharp splendor,
powdered cloud-fragments,
shower down in flight,
with soft feather-landings,
white petals subsiding melancholy,
the once potent din:
is enveloped in peace.

~1/16/12~

Monday, January 23, 2012

Hypocrite

The thing I probably hate most out of everything in existence is haters. So logical, so rational, so... not-hypocritical is this. I made a Tumblr and my friend always nags me about how if I do this wrong I will be made fun of or if I do that wrong I will be shunned. Yet she loves Tumblr and is complaining that I never go on my Tumblr. Why don't I? Because I am bound to do SOMETHING wrong and haters will swarm me. Why does fear plague us so?? She says that one thing you CANNOT do on Tumblr ever, is be a hater.. Hmm, well lets see... that rules out... me an-- well, EVERYONE ON THIS FREAKING PLANET. Why is everyone so picky? I don't want a blog that I cannot be myself on and I cannot be myself as needed--in an interesting way-- UNLESS I am a critic, UNLESS I am a hater to some degree. And then, she says, nobody goes on blogspot (true! hah! I'm pretty sure) and she says: everyone goes on tumblr (true again, am I right?) Sometimes I wish people commented and looked at my blog and sometimes I am just so thankful people don't! Why? Because all that will happen is people judging, most-likely in a bad way. When am I ever positive about life on here? When will I ever not feel as lonely as the goshdarn Doctor!! I don't even care anymore! Stress just wacks me in the head like a baseball bat being held by Scout and I cannot handle this! I cannot be myself without the lack of social rules--of all kinds. Gosh my head hurts, the pressure of being the best in school, doing what I like to do freely, trying my hardest to be a bro to the guy I really like and wishing that things picked up pace, but knowing they shouldn't for the better--wishing he read my blog so he could see what goes on in my head and understand and enjoy it-- but now this, now tumblr, the internet. I am NEVER good enough for the standards of people like her and I just wanna let it out! Maybe she's not a good friend for me, but none of my favorite people seem to be. Nothing ever fits into place like they should! UGH! Thank God for places like Blogspot where I can get my frustration out!

~Through the mind of the pessimistic perfectionist~

Sincerely, Rosem

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Truth of Fear

I'm on a tight schedule, so I will make this brief. My whole life I went along without having a true, intense fear. When I was younger, spiders made me yell, bees made me cry, heights made me stiff, but never had I truly found my fear. As I journey into my teenage years, I have discovered much about myself and since, uncovered my true fear. The one thing I am truly afraid of is people. Oh sure, I love people. They can be funny, friendly, kind, loving, but I also love bats, snakes, spiders, frogs, heights, roller coasters, trains, planes, bees...... The list goes on. What I am truly and sincerely afraid of is people. They have the power to do whatever they please and their hearts and minds are not always for the good. I am afraid of them hurting, killing, abusing power and what evil they can accomplish if they put their mind to it. I am also, however, afraid of the lack of people. I fear being alone or sometimes individual at some point. However, I realize that these fears are irrational and hypocritical, but are they still legitimate? They must be some sort of rationality to them or they wouldn't be there. What is your opinion of fear? Feel free to share your own fear or analogy of fear from your point of view.

~Rosem