Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Summer Ends~2011

Wow, the day after tomorrow, I have to get up for school. 5:30. I'm gonna be a freshman this year. How am I growing up so fast? Anyway, this blog post is meant to be a reviewing post. Let's start with the specifics. I remember in July, I went to the reptile zoo, and I got to hold a beautiful corn snake whose name was Carrot top. I was with my Ukrainian sister Marina, who also held a snake. My Ukrainian sister Yulia doesn't like snakes, so she stayed away.
I also went to camp for the first time. It was a beautiful Orthodox camp, and I felt really free, and loved there, so that was a blessing. I did have some hard times though like when our cabin got pranked. Everyone really believed it, and even though I wasn't scared, I was scared for them, and when I heard them scream, the memory made me cry a half an hour later. Everyone was mad, and felt miserable afterwards. I made some beloved friends at camp. I remember coming home after getting a big crush at camp, thinking that it could be something someday, but he wanted communication to end, and for logical reasons. Of course, my heart was broken, and I cried and cried. But I picked myself back up again. When I got back from camp, an old friend was chatting with me a lot online, a few weeks later we ran into eachother at an old family friends BBQ. We met in the woods in their yard alone... had a moment. It was nice, and it picked me up again. It gave me hope that I was not a failure. He and I talked more, and hung out more. That's when I met his incredible friend. He's a smart, sweet gentleman. But seeing as how he's best friends with the person I recently had a 'thing' with ('thing' not being anything bad, but just romantic) I probably shouldn't pursue any kind-of relationship with him other than friendship. I really need to learn to not want to have a boyfriend so much. Thankfully, I am perfectly content with being single for now, and a while later.
My dog also passed away just Sunday. She was a beautiful, loving, loyal, amazing dog. But she acted like she was dying, or in pain; not eating, not drinking, not moving.. We took her to the pet ER, and they did an ex-ray. She had tumors in her belly that would be expensive, and probably impossible yet to get out through surgery. She was 11 human years old. So it wasn't like she lived a short life. In fact, she practically grew up with me. I was raised with her. Putting her down was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with emotionally. I woke up at 5 in the morning that night, crying really hard. I even woke my parents up by accident, and they came in my room and comforted me. It also hurt a bunch, because I felt like I wasn't loving enough to her in her last days and years of life. Ever since I'd gotten my cat, I'd been the kitty's girl, and not the Doggy's girl anymore. I think that hurt her because she had no one else but my mom who always gave her attention even to the last day. I even had walked her the week before. She didn't seem that ill, she never had, but she was getting noticeably not-caring about things like punishment, walks, food. her health rapidly decreased until she wouldn't eat a dog treat. Mocha, my dog, always fighting for food, not love, wouldn't eat. It was the saddest thing. she just lied down, and rested her head on her paws. Not moving a muscle. What could we do? She knew it was her time. I'm glad that she got a painless death, and a quick one, especially that we caught her before she got worse than that. I wouldn't be able to bear the memory if she was in a worse state before her death. But God bless her, and rest in peace Mocha Miller.
So anyway, all this leading up to the fact that I am going back to school the day after tomorrow. I hope that I will be able to get into the swing of waking up at 5:30. It seems pretty crazy. I am gonna be glad once I graduate that I will no longer have to get up at such an ungodly hour. Good-night, Xenia <3

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