Sunday, July 24, 2011

Serenity

Never-Forgotten Serenity

The trees and sky,
they speak to me,
their whispers soft and true,
the campground was filled with love,
more than felt in a decade,
the deep blue sky made my heart weep,
even before I met you.

My inner-loneliness,
had been locked away,
love filled the air,
like a sweet perfume,
with vibes saturated with God,
I knew I was never alone.

With the gleam of the stars,
and the patterns of the leaves,
I could glance through the crowds,
and there you would be.

When our eyes first met,
I melted inside,
your angelic face,
heated my heart,
and it burned.

Now, I will never forget,
the last of the nights,
when I marched through the crowd,
my soul, brave and strong,
so you held me,
we danced.

And now that it's gone,
the gleam of the stars,
the forever forgotten loneliness,
the vibes of pure love,
I sit here once more,
Lonely, and in love.

The tears from my blue eyes,
fell light on my pillow,
the vibe of true freedom,
was taken,
now gone,
yet again.

~7/24/11~

Care

This poem, I wrote a while ago. It is called Care. I wrote it on 7/7/11


Care

Through the tears,
I am strong,
through the pain,
I carry on,
the rejection, puncturing my chest,
like a bullet hole,
deep, dark, and red,
I could never not care,
and always I shall.
Yet my lie infects him,
his ignorant arrogance proves it so,
for fact I sit around plotting,
and laugh with his every wrong,
but the fact that I go on caring,
is to no regards at all.
and it plagues me hearing his words,
the real lies, so bitter, strong,
I care enough to love,
my love was tossed away,
Though ungrateful, hate-loving, angry, I forgive,
God sent me the willpower, either good or bad?
So, I truly sit on waiting, for a forever-lost care.

~7-7-11~

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Fallin' for him

Yesterday was the 4th of July. So far, every year on the 4th of July since I was ten, I have either had a crush, fell in love, or was in love. Of course, this one was no different. But worse, this time it was someone I swore was an asshole. All my friends knew I knew he was, and all my friends knew I couldn't stand him. So, once upon a time, I started to like him. I denied it, and denied it, and on the 4th this year, I really, truly felt for him. Today, he facebook messaged me. It started out really nice. He was friendly...sort-of. And at first I noticed it was starting to go downhill. The whole conversation went downhill. I have no idea what I ever did wrong to cause it. No idea how I ever 'backstabbed' him. No idea why he doesn't trust me or any of my friends. And absolutely no idea why he calls me a jerk who is just playing around with his feelings. He doesn't believe that I actually care about him. At all. He doesn't trust that I ever did anything but hate him. I have never hated him. Never. He hurt me so badly. It hurt me so badly that he was in such pain, and distress, and won't let anyone help him, won't let himself see his scars. He won't let anyone get near him. He has no friends, because he shooed them away like he did me tonight. He has had tons of girlfriends, and every single one of them has broken up with him. Not the other way around. I didn't even want to go out with him. I just wanted to be his friend. Just wanted to be friendly. And this is all a lie? This, what I am typing right now, on my public blog, is just a set-up to hurt HIM. That's what he thinks anyway. That any little possibility that I liked him, was a lie. I pray that someday he grows up. I pray that someday he will grow up an look back and see himself for what he really was. A complete, utter moronic idiot. He is completely ignorant to everything, and everyone with no social skills whatsoever.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Perfection in everything

I was going for a walk this morning. I realized that the word 'perfect' is overestimated. It does have a true meaning, but people expect that meaning to be 'perfect' as in nothing faulty or wrong, and literally everything to be just right. This is however, illogical because everybody's idea of what is faulty, wrong, or right is completely different, always. Therefore, what many people concluded is that the word 'perfect' has no real meaning, and is a mistaken word in the English language. What I concluded, is that the word 'perfect' has a different meaning altogether. I believe that it's meaning is: anything good. Any tiny, little, piece of anything, that is perfectly good. 'Perfectly' in this case meaning substantially. I also noticed that every single thing in this world has both pros, and cons, both good, and bad. Absolutely anything you could possibly think of has both good and bad. So nothing is 'perfect' like the first definition at the top, but everything has perfect.

Just a thought to leave you on.

TTYL!

                  ~Xen