Thursday, April 28, 2011

Independence

The sun,
peeking through the clouds,
is a wonderful sight,

yet alone,
I sit,
voluntarily,
thinking,

while alone,
I expect,
the blood dripping away,
broken, and sore,
yet my heart is still beating.

All alone,
I'll stay strong,
healed and ready,

Prepared for the battle,
the battle, ahead.

I am ready,
independence is my gift,
not my curse.

~4/27/11~

Bad Days

Everything good,
turned bad.
Everything happy,
turned sad.

The sky sparkles blue,
the sun, warms my skin,

Another love for a stranger,
another heart, prepares to break.

Locked away, my soul,
continues to weep.

My loneliness, lies deep,
impossible to reach, comfort, fix.
My dream remains undone, broken, empty.

So I sit here,
tears in my eyes,
and yet still,
survive.

Maybe one day,
my dream will dwell,
one day..

~4/26/11~

Monday, April 25, 2011

Disregardance (Laxness)

I've been procrastinating on posting my most recent poem. I was stuck on a name. Between disregardance and laxness. I think I'll go with the last one. Mainly because I am trying to expand my vocabulary, and rarely-used words, and cool. XP




Disregardance (Laxness)

The sound of the ocean,
the crush of the waves,
all brings me deep sorrow,
'tis forgotten bliss.

When the wind blows my hair,
my sandy feet sink,
I look along the coast,
all left is frigidity.

Looking out to sea,
I think of you,
the hands I can't hold,
the hope I can't share.

When I'm sad,
you sigh.

When you're sad,
my heart dies.

And now,
the ocean calls to me,
the wind, piercing my skin,
the sun, setting along me,
no matter, I can't win.

When I give the sky my heart,
It will rain on me,
the clouds will darken,
the air will grow cold,
and rain will fall,
in tears, my heart pains.

I see his blunder as beauty,
I see his smile as bliss,
I see his love as wonder,
yet forever, my sight, must cease,
and forever, my sight shines clear.

~An unknown day in April, 2011~


PS: Forgive me, I forgot to write down the date when i wrote it. When i came back to look at it, I noticed the date was not there... oops ;)

Ttyl~Xen

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Music Music Music :)

Hey Folks! Sorry I've been ignoring my Blog.... :/  Well, my birthday was just over a couple weeks ago, and I got a TON of gift cards for Fred Meyer. I had a GREAT party at my house on Saturday the 2nd, and it was all awesome! My favorite gift that I got with the Fred Meyer gift cards was this beautiful, shiny, Go-Gear Vibe, Philips MP3 Player.

It was about 70 dollars, and had REALLY good speakers, and had a organized layout. I really 'loved' it. I guess i got too attached... Anyway, one day, I took it out of my pocket, and turned it on. I was in huge shock... The WHOLE left side of the screen was COMPLETELY busted!! The only reason I didn't scream out right there and then was because I had lost about 4 different very precious items this year. I guess I was used to it. It was devastating. I had no idea how it broke. And I didn't buy the special warranty for it.. I have never broken any of my electronics before... Yet my dad continuously, and empathetically told me that it was all right, that we could get it replaced, and that everything would be fine. 

As we pulled up to the Fred Meyer with the receipt, the MP3 Player, the cord, and the earphones, I doubted for a moment that it wouldn't work. That they wouldn't refund me. So we walked to the electronic section, I listened to my dad talk to the man, the whole time, just listening, I stood. And I heard the truthful, heart-crushing words I knew I would hear, "Sorry Sir, but the warranty covers all things like this. It's a pressure mark. It must have gotten bumped into or something." I couldn't believe it. Now I knew that I did it. It was all my fault and, I couldn't get a new one. This time, there was no second chance.

~And to be honest, those 10 days of listening to music using that MP3 player were a blessing, and I'm not mad~

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

How I feel inside about things

I really love god. Especially since I realized that he is the only one that will ever fully understand me. Even I don't fully understand me, and I get so upset inside when I notice all the people around me who understand me even less.
And it feels so good when you express a true feeling of consideration, love or devotion, and the person you express it to can see through the expression into the true feeling. It feels great. It is painful when friends think you are exaggerating or lying just to make them feel better. I hate that.

That's all my thought for now!

~TTYL~
CIB