Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Oh, its just normal, for an emotional 8th grade girl

I have too many tough emotions. I'm sick of letting myself cry. And I don't wanna write another BOOHOO bs poem. I feel like all this girl crap is leading to one explanation, Doubt. To be exact, I don't feel like I have proof of his love for me. I am being honest now. A not-expressive boyfriend, does not help with the emotional doubts. I can't read him, understand him, find anything in common with him, or anything. It's just plain stupid!! I am saying that because it has got me so annoyed that if I were to be any more expressive than I am now, there would be obvious exaggeration. You can see from the first part, I hate being vulnerable. Crying, is access to a key to vulnerability. The more you cry, or the more you let yourself cry, the easier the access to the vulnerability is. Its like a drug.
Because I have a busy life, and am behind schedule, I am gonna go now. But if you know me, you'd probably think, "Xen, but you could write forever and ever, and never clearly reach your main point." And it is true. And that is why I must go.

Self-control is one of the greatest gifts God can give us. Okay, don't you start Xen! this could lead to a billion other topics, and I told you, I refuse to continue this beyond any farther!


PS: reasons: why I talk to myself. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who I can truly relate to. And it's true. But lonely.

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