Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Justin Bieber

I wouldn't say I'm in love with him--although he is definitely dreamy--. I also wouldn't say I have a crush on him--although he has an amazing voice--. Justin Bieber is seriously talented, and to be honest, I like him. Things I HATE with a PASSION is when people make fun of him, and tease him, and hate him for stupid reasons. I honestly think they are stuck-up jealous ppl. The guys because they wish all the girls would pay attention to them instead of obsessing over a celebrity. The girls because they find it annoying when there are so many girls in love with him in annoying amounts. I have met some girls who have rooms coated with Justin Bieber posters. I have met LOTS of people who find him... "ugly, gross, a girl, a beaver, a gay wad, fat... etc..." I find that LOADS MORE annoying than the girls who obsess over him. Not only are they (the girls who 'hate' him) liars, (Justin being anything but ugly, and a male, and a human) but it is mean. He is a human being like any other human being, all celebrities are.
Anyway, I HATE the Hating of Justin Bieber!
Get over his fame! Get over your loss! And admit you love him like anyone else does! (lol)

If you know me, that last part was a joke..
Bye now, Xen

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Something to think about!

Something to think about: Its not the age, but the level of maturity and understanding in a person that's important.


Hey! and Filming!

Right now we are at Snohomish High School Library to film the Crabby School Librarian mini-video. :) This is gonna be so fun!! Get back to you later!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

My Beloved

My darling,
my dear.
I wish you'd come near.

My heart,
it longs,
yet I know better,
don't I?

I can't,
my sweet...
Oh my sweet joy and gladness.
I can't.

You know better,
just think,
dear beloved.

You know,
how we,
must take it slow.

Rushing into things,
beloved, can cause...
a sudden end,
or a terrible beginning.

Neither I want my love,
Neither you want,
Neither we want..
My darling, My love.

Yet I know how we feel,
it feels, to be in love.
And I remember your eyes,
your smile,
your hand.

I know how much we
long to express our love.
And we can.
Yet not in a rush.
No hurry, my beloved,
please no...

Though I feel I know you,
quite well, indeed,
and I know we're ready,
to take another step.

But with feelings,
you can't trust,
whether it's the right choice or not.
But we can hope.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Today I feel the need to write a list of all that I am thankful for.

  • My Mom who has worked so hard all through her life to help others
  • My Dad who has been a very important person in my life, and has worked very hard for this family.
  • My many many friends who have been there for me when I have a rough time, and been friendly to me on an everyday basis. And that I have so many.
  • My boyfriend who has been here for me since April 9th and taught me a lot.
  • My Amazing, angelic kitty, Lilly who has been waiting around the corner for the past 4 years (or so) to make sure everything is all right.
  • My sweet, adorable dog, Mocha, for giving me another family member. (I'm an only child)
  • The fact that I was born, and raised an Orthodox Christian and have had God with me all through my troubles helping and guiding me.
  • The fact that I have a shelter over my head, a comfy, cozy bed to sleep in, and many many clothes to wear.
  • I am thankful for all the opportunities I have and will have in my life to accomplish and experience. 
  • I am thankful to have a computer
  • a cellphone
  • To have a desk
  • To have many many supplies for school, writing, drawing, etc...
  • To have the ability to think up so many things, and to record it efficiently on paper.
  • All of the video games I have and enjoy playing: ...
  • Mario kart
  • Age of Empires III
  • Zoo Tycoon 2
  • Portal
  • Half Life 2
  • Halo 1-2
  • Animal Crossing
  • Nintendogs
  • all the other games I missed
  • For all of the game systems I play those games on:
  • X-box
  • Computer
  • Wii
  • DS
  • And for all of the board and card games I have to play
  • And for all of the misc. things I own
  • I am thankful for Electricity, Plumbing, and HEAT
  • I am thankful to be me.
  • And thankful for anything else in the world I forgot!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Dear random person...

Dear random person,

Everybody makes poor choices, and no one is perfect. Often poor choices effect those around them, causing them to feel pain. I honestly don't know exactly what happened or how your relationship was before then, but what I DO know is that playing people is wrong! Making someone believe you loved them while they loved you back, and then dumping them with harsh words and harsh actions (STILL) is cruel. Even when your provoked! Now, I will never freely or willingly accept a kind, beautiful, pure-hearted, spirited girl in constant pain from your non-stop abuse(as a result of her actions) Especially when she has tired herself with regrets, apologies, and sadness over what she has done. Not forgiving her and forgetting it not only causes you grief (for some reason) but it causes the person you once 'loved' a lot of grief, the person who only truly loved you.
I write this now on behalf of relationship issues I have seen, heard-of, or had friends troubled with them. Not only do the tears of her pierced heart bring sadness with a gloomy displeasure into my life, but I love her evermore and would waste away crying with her. Please end this.


Saturday, November 20, 2010

Not only friend's relationships/Random

[excuse the simple-sentences--really tired right now]
I've been worried about not only others people's (friend's) relationships lately...
A few days ago I cried over it....
But today I had my bf over. It reminded myself about how much I actually still do love him.
A lot.

I am starting to read the book Ender's Game. It's a pretty good book. Very different and interesting. One thing that really bothers me though is Orson Scott Card's fondness of sentence fragments. I mean, SERIOUSLY!!! It's not even only when people talk. Its in narrations too. Gahh!!!
Anyway...Really good book, and I am going to continue reading it.

Also, so glad that I've found time to draw, read, write-etc.... on my free time.


I need to get to sleep now...
Bye-bye! Goodnight!! Sleep-Well!!!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


I was thinking, and remembering my old cat that I had once, her name was Angelina...
I wrote this poem a few days ago...


I remember that day,
I was in the 4th grade.

Got called down to the office.

I looked at my grim mom,
with a smile on my face.
And I asked her, "What's up?
Why am I taken out of school."

She looked sad.
And confuzzled, I asked,
"Something wrong? 
A fire at our house?
Did our cars get stolen?
A car accident?

I looked at them worried,
my lunch in my hand.
And then my dad answered, 
"Angelina, she's dead."

I wouldn't believe him,
No way!
She couldn't...

But I looked and I saw,
an honest, cold, gleam,
in his wet teary eyes.

Thats when I noticed,
my face was all wet.

My vision was blurred, 
as I raced to the car.
I set my lunch down and I buckled my seat,
and remembered...

her soft, white fur...
with blotches of color.
A little black,
a little red,
she was a calico...

Angelina, I cried!
No, it can't be!

My heart beated fast, 
and yet felt hollow and dead..
and remembered a day...
when I cried on the floor.
Angelina came up to me,
meowed, and moved on.

That cat was a character,
had had strength,

She didn't observe us,
yet she knew we were there.
She hardly knew us,
yet loved us with care.

I'll never forget her,
and even to this day,
I take time to remember,
a beauty, and gift.

My Adorable Kitty, Lilly

I go to the bathroom and shut the door. Right as I sit down, my adorable cat, Lilly crawls out of the box that is sitting over the heater vent on the floor.
I say to her in a fond voice, "What is your problem? This is where we crap, not sleep, silly cat!......Well, I guess that was a pretty smart idea, but still!!"

I love my kitty she's a sweetheart. There is no way I could ever find a more social, loving, devoted cat, EVER!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

This 4 day weekend

"Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas." Or should I say... Its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. Either way, you get my point across that Christmas time is coming near!! I'm really excited and all... But thats not what I came on to talk about.
Anyway, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have come and gone. Luckily, I did very memorable, or 'productive' things during those days. Hopefully Sunday will be a grand finale! A nice twist, or happy, friendly, exciting excitement. Uhhh.... BETTER YET!!!!!
On Sunday, I am firstly planning to visit St. Spiridons Orthodox cathedral for Liturgy in the morn. Then, I might go to the coffee place down the street with my bf. And maybe hit REI. That would be cool. However, I am feeling this is all getting rather dull... I need sometime great... something... BOOM!! Gahh... Hate to say it, but sometimes *cough can get kinda boring. He's not a very expressive person, nor an adventurer, or try-new-things person... Oh well, nobody's perfect. ;) Anyway, EVERYBODY gets boring sometimes. Even me, well.... yea! Haha.... ohhh I'm so terrible... I wonder sometimes how God can forgive all my numerous sins... *Sigh....

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Young Poets Club

I was thinking one day, (rather a usual activity) when I thought of the idea of a young poets club where a group of young poets I know would get together at my house every once-in-a-while to share poems we wrote and socialize. :) If you like my idea, know me, are a poet, and are interested in joining the club, put your FIRST name in the comments. Thx! :)



I've been listening to Paramore's old album, Riot lately (New for me, old for them). I Love it soooo much!!! Like one of the songs from the album is stuck in my head every day! Oh my gosh!!! I LOVE Paramore!! Its crazy, but Paramore is the only band that I have fallen in love with this much for such a long time.
Okay, with that said, tttyl!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010


Assuming little or no one I know reads my blog, I post basically anything and everything important on my mind whether or not it will cause judgement, rumors, gossip, or offences. Therefore, I am terribly sorry if I know you, and you become offended... but have no part in it. You have been warned! ~Thank you~

Life is so Complicated
Why is life so complicated?
You love this while I love that.
You conceal it,
I express it,

All these things,
just add to it.

All these things,
just add to it,
add to life.

Why is life so complicated?
You hate that while I love this.
You agree to it.
I discourage it.

All these things,
just add to it.

All these things,
just add to it,
add to life.

When I'm excited,
your all nervous.
When I'm outgoing,
your all shy.

Why is life so complicated?
You feel this while I feel that.
I enjoy it,
You ignore it.

Are we really meant to be,
I was gonna wait to see...
And now,
like other times,
I think maybe not.

Can you see?

I wish when I saw you,
I knew who you were.
I wish you were social,
I wish you agreed.

But when I first saw you,
my mind just went blank.
It was love at first sight,
I was sure, I was sure.

And now that I know you,
I wish everyday.
That you understood,
 the most important thing to me.

If you truly know me,
You'd know,
what I need.

And at first I thought you had it,
but now I really see.
Your not all that social,
you don't like to agree.
How can you know me,
without trying to see?

And now that I reread over the poems I wrote tonight..... I realize how much I felt lonely, separate, and away from him. I think everybody does sometimes. Everybody has doubting days. And everybody gets through them in one way or another. But I think the best way is to not back out, and to work through them. (Or write a poem to share with strangers about how you feel to get it out of you.) Good-day, and good-night. Remember to set your clocks back an hour if you live in this area. ~Bye4now....

Our Creative Energy

the time,
flying out my ears.
My life,
moving on....

The importance of creative energy,
the arts...
They are what make the world spin.

Though God,
is what made them,
be here for us,
in the first place.

Pay we little attention to this?
Do we consider,
our God's responsibility for our wonderful life?

the time,
flying out my ears.
My life,
moving on...

Do we,
as people,
as citizens of God...
as God's people...

Do we,
have the creative energy,
to accomplish,
something wonderful,
in life?

God's creative energy,
makes the world spin.
For this I know.

For the greatest men,
were artists, pure,
through and through.
Benjamin Franklin, George Washington...
Mozart, Tchaikovsky.

And for the greatest men,
accomplish much.

Through Creative Energy. 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

True Freedom

The Hymns in my ears,
such a joyous song.
As if surrounded by angels,
with the freedom of love.

The incense, as smoke,
surrounds all of the saints.
With gold-crested halos, they watch over me.

The same freedom, same joy, same beauty,
I feel, when I look into a sunset,
at cloud, at the sky.
That same freedom, and wonder is held in a church.
A simple structure, beholding magnificent power.

I remember the incense, the smell, the clouds,
and the sun shining through a window,
in the alter.
I think of the people, I meet in this world,
and wonder how they would feel,
in the presence of God. 

Gone with the Wind

Gone with the wind,
my love,
you are.

Gone with the wind,
taken, unfairly,
my love,
you are.

Though I miss you dearly,
I still carry on...
With this weight on my back,
with this weight on my mind,
with your weight on my heart,
I burn.

The sweet drips from my forehead,
though I feel no drip.

My heart throbs with blood,
the pound through my veins.
No pulse.

I think up all wonders,
all thoughts,
all feeling.
I enclose them inside me,
though they're free.

With no sweat down my forehead,
no pulse,
no thoughts,
I explode with great power,
no fury,
no guts.

Help me! I cry,
with my arm on my head.
I want to be taken,
away from all pain,
back to the dreamworld,
to live with no restrain.


*low whisper

Gone with the wind,
my love,
you are.

Gone with the wind....

Taken unfairly,
my love,
you are.

Gone with the wind....